Dad down for he count

 My Dad has been in the hospital since Monday. He had the worst seizure yet and had to be transported to a hospital that specializes in brain trauma. I’ve been with him every day and my aunt and uncle has stopped by twice to offer me support. We all think he’s taken about 3 steps back and we are reminded of where he was 3 years ago. He is confused, his speech is slow and he is not able to move around. He’s been hostile at times and repeatedly forgets he’s hooked up to machines. Subsequently, when he does realize this, he tries to pull his tubes out. Last night he had a hallucination while I was there and I had to calm him down. I’m not always capable of keeping him in bed and am fortunate of the amazing staff. 

Some tough decisions are in the future. We already know he will have to go to a rehabilitation center to work on physical movement. But here’s the tough part… he can’t go back home to his girlfriend…and she doesn’t know this yet. Unfortunately, she’s part of the problem since he has access to alcohol on a daily basis and it’s not an ideal living environment for him. Obviously, he doesn’t know this either. Between the social worker, the countless doctors and RNs and the lawyer, my head is spinning. I love my dad but I never really had a relationship with him growing up. If I feel this much for him, I can’t imagine if it were my mom… I’d probably be convulsing in a corner somewhere. Just saying…. 

I broke down in tears Tuesday afternoon. I don’t know if it was the lack of sleep, the stress or what…I just felt an overwhelming amount of pressure in knowing his long-term care comes down to the decisions I make for him. I wish he was married to his girlfriend. They’ve been together for 15yrs. But in the eyes of the law, she’s not family. I suppose in this situation it’s for the best since as I said, she’s part of the problem. But you know…he’s not easy to deal with and she was probably giving it to him to calm both their nerves. I’m not saying it’s right…but I’m also refusing to throw stones at a glass house. Who is to say what anyone would do given the situation. 

Let’s hope this is a wake-up call for everyone. 

As of today, he’s getting xrays on both arms. They think he at least dislocated his left arm during the seizure. 

One day at a time, right? My short term goals for him are to be more alert and have clearer speech. Fingers crossed.