So done
How many are sick of my sob story of this frickin miscarriage raise your hand….
My arm would be waving in the wind frantically……
Could this have been short and sweet not his long drawn out process of torchure??
So I went for an ultrasound and of course no baby but a blood clot. Basically why I went to see if I was going for that d & c that I’m almost begging for now….
Nope. Do blood work next week to see if your back down to zero….
UGH!!!
THe worst part is somehow its suppose to make it comforting to me that this is not viable by telling me that there’s only a blood clot left. Somehow when THEY tell you it feels 10x worse. I’ve known for about 2 weeks now. So far doing all this testing is futile in my eyes since I know/knew. Its one of those….should I have even bothered…..
Time line:
I knew the weekend that we went to Cleveland if I didn’t have my period I was most likely pregnant….didn’t test…..that was 4 weeks.
The whole next week no period , no testing…. realized I was most likely pregnant BUT didn’t seem to have those pregnancy symptoms… figured would wait …..hell didn’t care if it was more like the end of Sept to test…… Doesn’t much matter in the beginning. Just didn’t seem right subconsciously.
The nest week started spotting on and off… hmmm time to see what the hell is going ……after 3-4 days of spotting I took the pregnancy test and it was positive. Fine I’ll make an appt. Spotting got worse.. had some twinges in my back that I knew from there…..DONE. Called they wanted blood test. Did blood test. Not good… by this time it was heavy and red…. No doubt it was done…. Didn’t want to go for test #2. They called and asked me to. So more blood and ultrasound still waiting for it to be completely done… Mentally and emotionally… I want to move on.
Was not attached to this at all…. didn’t have a ultrasound or anything like that.. Its hard as I go and this keeps going to not tell people as now I have taken days off gone to appts. Felt like hell…. and I know the first thing is going to be oh my so sorry to hear that.
Why?? there’s nothing to be sorry about. There was no time during this that I knew for sure I was pregnant and nothing be wrong. It happens and that’s that. Its just been hell mentally and emotionally on me oh and lets not forget physically.
Sorry venting its just so few people know I feel like putting it here. Crap this is hell and I wasn’t attached…. if I was, I would be a wreck. THose that know. Know this is not my 1st miscarriage… its my 2nd… My 1st was at almost 12 weeks. I’m now thinking tht was short and sweet. Bled, ER, D&C….done….just dealt with the emotional guilt of that one after, That was tough emotionally too as it came out of the blue (although I had a small inkling there was something wrong way before too but brushed it off that it was just worry of being pregnant.)
Next week more blood work and another appt…Yipee. (NOT)