Some Answers

My head was spinning earlier. It still is. Chris is upset, but he’s being my guiding light and my rock. We wont be able to do the HSG for a couple months because his mom is having her thyroid cancer surgery sometime in June/July and Chris will have to take care of her fully. I don’t want him stressing about her and me. Plus since infertility isnt covered by my insurance everything is going to be out of the pocket, so we wanna save up a little more for that as well. I wish we could move on it sooner, but I will not selfishly put my husband through that. I would not ask him to try and give me a child and procedures and tests, and take care of his mom while she’s recovering. Its going to take a bit longer anyway, so whats a few more months right? I would rather wait til I have his time and attention fully focused on us.

The most frustrating part is that we don’t know anything else, except we need help. But this is just another test from God. I don’t even care if I need a surragate, I would rather watch someone else carry my child, than have no child at all.  I’m still staying positive though. Very in shock. Infertility isnt the same as being sterile so I am definately not giving up hope. If now more than ever I have more hope. It will just take longer.

Its so weird when I look at other women now I see them differently. Its hard to explain but if your dealing with infertility I think you know what I mean. Its just seeing women in a different light. Kinda like how men are about penis size. Like I’m less of a women because I need help getting pregnant. I know I’m not, but you feel like everyone can tell, and you feel like people are having pity on you.

Thank you all for your support and well wishes. We will need all of it.