Ramblings

I update entirely too little on here. I’m just very boring. Or maybe this town is very boring. I havent talk to Cari since we got the pictures, almost a month ago. But I did print some really great 8X10 prints for the first half of my anni gift to Chris. I’m going to try and print a love letter on a brown paper bag and then crinkle it soft like we did in middle school to make soft leathery worn looking paper. If that doesnt work I’ll just do a side by side wedding photo frames of us exhanging rings. This year has been a great year being married. But lately its been getting hard. Chris’s parents are on my last nerve lately, and when I vent to him he gets defensive and says I hate them. I don’t hate them, but sometimes I need to vent about it and I cant because he does that, and it leads to a fight. So I told him last night that when he vents about his parents I listen and support him, and he attacks me for doing the same. They treat us like kids. I realize they are old, and sick, and retired, and need to feel important, but waking me up everyday even though the alarm is set is getting ridiculous. Needing to know when I work and for how long is getting on my last nerve. I know they are just worried about my father in law but still. I’m worried to you know? Its been a month and a half since he’s had any cancer treatment and thats not good, especially when he has to take it everyday. The chemo will never get rid of the cancer there’s too much, but it stops it from spreading. Its killing his kidneys though so he had to stop taking it, and they are working on something else for him.

Its hard being 21 and acting like Im in my mid 30’s. I try to have fun at work so people dont realize how much shit we deal with. I wonder if this is why we cant get pregnant either. Its a lot to deal with and a lot of stress. I’ve been dealing with helping Chris’s parents since I was 17 1/2. Im forever grateful that they were kind enough to let me stay with them when my mom kicked me out. But anytime I want time with my husband his mom needs something, and it gets hard to spend any time with him. We cant move out either, they need us too much. I agree that parents dont belong in a nursing home, I would never do that unless they were invalid or had alzhiemers and I only say that because I wouldnt be able to care for them properly. I never go out and people think Im a homebody but I feel like I cant leave them here alone, so I stay at home and help them out if they need it.

On to less depressing things, I bought the Sims 2 on gamecube, which I’ve been waiting for forever. I ordered it two days ago, so it should be here next week sometime. Its been nice outside lately. I think spring is rolling in. It was in the 70’s and 80’s this week, with some thunderstorms. One is supposed to be coming anytime now, and I have to leave for work soon. Hopefully Thursday will be a clear day, because Vince and I are going for a ride on the hog if it is. Yesterday we were gonna go for a ride but Chris’s mom needed a prescription, so we just rode to walmart and back. It was fun, but not as long as we woulda liked. I love the feeling of a motorcycle. Even though at first it feels wierd to not wear a seatbelt. Its freedom on a bike, and everyone turns a stares, other bikers wave. I remember when I was 15 and strung out on meth I met a guy who happened to be a tweeker to and his roomates old man was a biker in Hells Angels. I was in love ever since then. The ride, the thrill, it was amazing! I wish Chris loves it as much as me, but he hates them. So I will never have my own. But the wind in your hair and on your face, the clarity of the country, the long winding roads with no stop signs, lights, or traffic is amazing. So I wrote this long entry and if anyone actually paid attention to the long winded ramblings, let alone read it all, kudos to you. two points.

First Anniversary