…letting the cables sleep..

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sick…for the second time this year..not sure if its a cold..flu..or what..but i feel like crap…

so i’ll be spending my days off with a box of tissues to my left..both work and personal cellphones to my right..

funny, i dont want to stay in bed all day..waiting for the dayquil to kick in..need fresh air..might sit by the water with my music turned up

on my way home yesterday..on the train..somewhat crowded and this man is looking over my shoulder watching me play sudoku..he mutters to me.."8"..im laughing as i was actually working on that number as he said it…i quickly solved it after that..he left after he apologized for bothering me..

i have to wash that vibe off of me..please…"bother" me…im working on smashing down the walls..i am ready to meet the man of my dreams halfway..it feels like the right time..

d has been quiet…ive been too busy to notice until now..

the reason why this has worked for me is because nothing is really required to keep us afloat…we both are pros at compartmentalization..he has his life..i have mine…and when things get to be too much..we seek one another out…very low maintenance..which is perfect for us mostly..of course sometimes it isnt..for me anyway..

notes:

dont it hurt that you know hes going back to her bed at night [pandalovesrick2011]

good one..mostly no..i want him happy, even if it means him sharing a life with her…he has opened up to me throughout the years and i know quite a bit about why he stays..about her family..their marriage..what is missing from it..etc.

this is going to sound selfish..but i knew him first..there are sides to him that she will never know..just like i dont know the d that she loves.

id rather him go home to a good girl than be single and get into trouble…

he was a mess once upon a time..i dont want to see him go down that road again..

I’m sure it’s hard to let go. [musicman1962]

his friendship is what i dont want to lose…i love the physical part as well, but if need be, i believe that we could kill that aspect without damaging our rapport

hes not single. you have to stop talking to him. imagine if you were that girl hes with. how would you feel about you? women hate on each other so much, but they also give each other reason to. you dont want to be that woman.
you CAN do this. just keep silent. itll be agony at first, but you’ll get used to it and realise that he is NOT worth it. [medic girl]

all valid points..ive thought about her side as well..and have had discussions with him about this…i believe that i feel more guilt than he does..which doesnt look good for him, right?

just a little peek into why they are together…they were dating..and she wound up pregnant..i know that he was super excited about the prospect of being a father..in the beginning, things were great between them..after the baby, she developed body issues..and the sexual portion of their relationship radically changed..she began to pressure him to marry her..and 2 years later he did, as he believed it was the right thing to do.

no excuses for him..the bottom line is yes..i shouldnt be the other woman..i deserve a real relationship and he needs to man up and deal with the cards he was dealt.

but let me ask you this…if you enter a relationship and the person suddenly no longer enjoys something that is very important to you…they only go through the motions but their heart is not in it…how do you deal with that?

it could be something as simple as a playing a game of scrabble..but this was how you had bonded and now that no longer exists..would you still be happy?

i dont doubt the love between them..but i also know the he’s never been able to completely process his feelings for me…and well, unfortunately this is all playing itself out at an inopportune time

we’ve remained electronic friends all of these years and waited more than 10 years to meet face to face once again..had we reconnected 5 years ago..this wouldnt be an issue..but it is..and until i find someone else, it will remain unfinished business

right now, im happy for the quiet..and my eyes..heart…and ears are open to whatever the universe brings my way..

i dont want to live like this, knowing that i only have a portion of this man’s attention

i’m not the one bound by rope and chains..he is..

and the only way he will realize this is by me not being there

i will dig my feet in and will remain still when the next wave rolls in

http://www.youtube.com/watch

time to shower and make myself look human

thank you for the eye openers..i need to hear these things..it helps me immensely..

i guess deep down you already know the pros and cons of this relationship. My advise is just follow your own instinct and let time decides the progress of things to come. Good luck.

ugh…I get that alot too. Ive sent pics before in which I was told “you look angry”…I see what they mean, I have creases where my brow furrows sometimes…but im not angry, I just look like it, and that sends people away sometimes. feel better 🙂

medic girl

February 9, 2011

whatever it is, if hes not happy, its not up to you to make him realise that. he needs to deal with that relationship himself. there is no excuse for him to cheat. if he has problems with her, he needs to work through those or at least break up with her first. and if hes not strong enough to do that himself, it means you need to do the moral thing and step back so he has a chance.

and if you didnt, and he left her for you without giving it a chance, do you honestly think you could be happy in that relationship? personally i think i would always feel like i took something away from that family. and that is what they are, a family. sorry to be heavy on you, i just think cheating is the easy way out but it has so many unnecessary repercussions and hurts to many people

surely if hes the one, and he still has all these feelings for you he never processed he should sort those all out first before trying something else? how can you be sure that hes not just thinking the grass is greener. how can you be sure that you dont just want something unattainable? you’ll never know unless you leave it all alone and let him do some thinking and work for a change.