ABC of Me

This was unequivocally stolen by me from another diarist, who I now cant find. Sorry! But its an interesting idea, so I was tempted.

A is for Argument. I love a good heated debate. I thrive on conflict. Im not a fight starter, (because I’d be useless) but I will wade into a conversation and provoke a response.

B is for Boys. Not exactly an obsession, but definitely an interest 😉 Also, Biology and Biomedical Science. My degrees are in both (BSc and MSc respectively). I am seeking a career in the latter. (Hopsital labs – Heamatology etc)

C is for Control. I need to know what Ive done, what Im doing, and what I plan to do. Even mentally marking a bit down in my plan for doing nothing. I plan to do nothing, so that I can then do something. Nothing is left to chance. Plan! Plan! Plan! Also, C is for crisps – fatty, salty goodness. I have the exact opposite of a sweet tooth.

D is for Dancing. I love to dance, even if Im not very good at it. I just move in what I think is the rythym of whatever music is playing. I cant actually dance though. Also – Depression. I find it very difficult to shake sometimes, and sometimes it scares me how it can be for noe reason. Money in the bank (occasionally,) friends, roof over my head, health (semblance of,) and yet I can feel so negative.

E is for Energy – lack of. I always seem tired, but I know thats ironically because Im not active enough. I’m always just so lethargic.

F is for Friends. Very important to me. Who else would let me dance like a fool, and who would argue back with me? Also, Fun. I like doing things that are fun for fun’s sake, visiting new places, going travelling, spending time with friends.

G is for Gay. I dont usually actually say that out loud. I let people work it out for themselves, I am out to everyone except my family, but Im still uncomfortable saying it out loud. Weird.

H is for Heat – dislike of. I always prefer winter to summer, being too cold to being too hot. Also, Happy – not always.

I is for Intelligence. Im not arrogant to say I am uber-intelligent, but I like to stimulate my mind with pretentious things like foreign cinema, obscure authors, world music. I love visiting museums and art galleries. Feeding my mind is important.

J is for Junk. Im not above cheesy pop music and crappy reality TV.

K is for Kicking habits – inability to. I definitely have an addictive personality, I am eternally thankful I dont get addicted to something harmful, (drink,drugs,smokes) but I have to conciously stop myself from even trying something like that, or I WILL get addicted. I do drink, but I am able to stop when necessary…. just about.

L is for Love – never been in. Ive never been so attracted to someone that I flutter when near them, Ive never been upset about relationships ending, Ive never felt the need to tell anyone I love them, I can imagine life without a long term partner. Doesnt mean I dont want one, but I have never had wrenching longing and subliminal connection that people write about / do anything for / kill themselves over. I think I cant give up enough control over my life to someone else.

M is for ME! Also, Money – lack of. A constant struggle, not that I have expensive tastes, its just that Im a student = debt.

N is for Narky. (See also A) I am somewhat capable of bad moods. Outbursts and tantrums are my friends. Obviously not all the time, but regular appearances.

O is for Open – to new experiences, people, places. A closed mind is a boring one.

P is for Pringles. (See C.)

Q is for Question / Query. I love to ask ‘why’ and ‘who’ and ‘how’ and ‘what’.

R is for Risks. Rarely taken, except when small. (See C)

S is for Stupidity / Senility. What Im scared of becoming.

T is for Tension – Constantly subconciously seeking, whilst supposed to be avoiding. At least thats the way I explain the strange way I behave.

U is for Underneath. Curiosity killed the cat, but I need to know!

V is for Vulnerable. What I try not to be, at all times.

W is for Work. Love/hate relationship. Keeps me busy, but I always wish I didnt have to.

X is for eXchange – of ideas, bodily fluids, power, goods.

Y is for Youth. What I wished I could stay.

Z is for Zero. What I sometimes feel like. Worse than crap, down and unhappy. Just Zero. Nothing.