Blog #570

"I’m just down the line from you, I’ve stayed at home with my disease," I thought but then I got headbutted and surprisingly it made everything okay. o_O

I don’t know how that works, but I’ll take it. 

Two runs last night with my chief. Had a car full of young girls tboned by another, had some rollover excitement going on. No one was hurt though because seatbelts were worn and airbags properly deployed. It was mostly checking everyone over and trying to calm them down which wasn’t too bad. They were supercute, the sort of girls way out of my league during high school, the kind I always wanted but now realize would never have fulfilled me. They don’t even mildly appeal anymore….I need a dorky nerdy kinda girl who likes science. ;d 

I’ve been really negative about that though. I kept thinking…..there isn’t going to be anyone for someone like me. *All* the super-awesome chicas I know are married or long-term taken so it’s like…there’s no one in the world for me. Especially with me on the backslide. I feel like I’m steadily getting less and less attractive. Part of that is because I’m getting more out of shape again. Part of it is that I’m going nowhere. Yeah, I work. Yeah, I do important work but….I’m not the guy anyone would want. I just stay at home. I just cook, read this or that and learn about something or other and that’s my excitement for the day. I just can’t be bothered to randomly go out and do things, the idea just is bleh to me. That’s terribly boring. 

Eh. Of course that’s not being reasonable and I KNOW that’s not being reasonable. Because I’m looking at the whole woman demographic as a whole when I think that way. Most women are the same as most guys; they want excitement and interesting-ness and that means going out and doing things for most people. But MY demographic are the sort of people who enjoys staying at home like I do and can read/learn about something that turns them on and feel fulfilled. They exist, they’re just likely doing much the same thing I’m doing; going to work and mostly staying home. So what I need to do is figure out a way to connect with these people. I suspect the internet will be involved. 

And when I find such a person, I bet I’d love to go out with them because there would be a purpose to going out instead of just looking to be entertained. There is much to be said for this.