OD History Survey

1 How long have you been a member of Open Diary?

If you consider ODs (now deceased) sister site Teen Open Diary, I’ve been here since around 2000. Thank god all of that was deleted, who knows how embarrassing it’d be if any of THAT resurfaced. 

2 How old were you when you began your Diary?

14 or 15, I don’t remember. 

3 Have you had more than one diary hosted on Open Diary?

No. This is my diary and my ONLY diary. 

4 What’s the story behind your diary name? Your diary title?

Pick one: 

1. Halcyon means peace, glaze is….glaze. So my name means a peaceful feeling settling down around you like a tiny thundercloud. 
2. It’s a reference to a wonderful glazed donut that brings peace and wonderful sweetness to my mouth.
3. It’s a fantasy reference to a shimmering wall of lifelike creatures, especially birds, that bursts into life in a spectacular display.  
4. Peace is what I’m looking for, therefore halcyon glaze. 
5. I’m only peaceful on the outside, but more of a roiling within, therefore halcyon glaze. That’s more of a used-to-be thing than a now thing though.  
6. I just like latin.
7. And the word ‘glaze.’ It sounds very promiscuous.

Kaniner means rabbit or bunny in swedish. It reminds me somewhat of the white rabbit, chasing something that you can never quite catch but needed 50 minutes ago. 

5 Have you, or do you still, write in other places? Where? (Personal blogs, paper notebooks, other diary-specific sites)

Not usually. I do have notebooks I’ll jot random things down in, but they’re usually to write here if I have the presence of mind to remember to. I do keep ideas in one particular notebook. I’ve written out some of them here. It’s not really a blog or diary type thing though. 

6 To your knowledge, who is your longest reader?

Kate. Kate lurked me since near the beginning of my diary here, so around 2004. 

7 Have you met anyone from Open Diary in person?

Yes. Three I think. Most of it was a while ago. 

8 Have you forged a relationship with anyone on Open Diary?

Mhm. Two of the above I’ve met were people I was dating. 

9 Do you let your significant other/family/friends read your diary? Why or why not?

I let people close to me read, sure. Family isn’t close to me and we don’t talk, let alone share anything halfway important. My good friends do have access to this, though who knows if they read. Vicky does from time to time I know, but I don’t know about Yeufann. 

10 Why do you choose to keep your diary public OR keep your diary Friends Only?

I keep it public because, if you feel you have to hide it, then you’re likely doing something wrong. Therefore I only post things that I feel I could say in the light of day to anyone willing to listen and/or worth talking to. I actively try to shape the thoughts that I am leery about posting here into something else…either a different more-healthy thought or just eliminating the feeling completely. If it’s wrong, if it can’t be shown in the light of day, it’s not worth thinking. That being said, there are three friends-only entries. Two are a story I wrote about 9/11 and I didn’t want to hurt anyone who might come across them. I really should open those back up actually, it’s been long enough I think. The other one is a HEY, YOU’RE ON MY FRIENDS LIST, HOORAY FOR YOU entry. Total fluff. 

11 Name your three biggest life changes that have happened since you started writing in Open Diary.

I got my shit together in degrees. It’s sticking together pretty well in an overarching sense now. That’s most of it and there’s been more than three instances of it too. First i worked through my anger, then I worked through my sadness which was really just me being pissed but being unwilling to direct it at the things causing it and instead directing it at myself, thus producing sadness. And then…actually nevermind, I come off as fucked up enough. 

Three things that happened; I moved to Orlando. I joined the Army. I got my shit together. There. 

12 Link to (or describe) your favorite personal entry to date.

Uh. Jesus, I have like 1800 entries man. Sec, I’ll do a quick skim. 

Here. This is probably the best poem I’ve ever written, bar none. What was going on was, Jacinta and I had been forced to break up (her parents) and she had wrote a poem for me that echoed a well-known poem. If I remember correctly, it was both loving towards me as well as angry at me and everything. Ultimately at the end it was about her no longer having faith in any of it. It was kinda hard to take. So after a few days of digesting, I wrote a poem back to her echoing another well-known poem. This is what came out. 

http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=D549052&entry=10525&mode=

13 Do you participate in Diary groups, Weekly Themes, and/or boards?

No. Not interested in the groups or the boards. The themes I would be if they were more interesting…but it seems like it’s the same kinda thing over and over. Put a surrealist in charge of the weekly themes and I’ll be all over that shit. Exquisite corpse HERE I COME. 

Speaking of that, I need to find partners for such an endeavor. I want to do an exquisite corpse poem. 
 
14 Do you think you censor yourself because you know there may be an audience reading?

No. I do occasionally make remarks specifically at people though. 

15 What do you write first? Your entry or your entry title?

I usually write the entry first then check to see what the number is. My titles are (mostly) uninspiring. #’d titles are things I feel are important and/or don’t have much to do with a particular day. Blog entries are far more mundane and boring, usually about my day.