Blog #558

Ho hum. Not a lot happening today. Attempted to record some. A few things I just don’t sound good doing so I dropped em. Syncing up audio is being a pain in the ass. God damn MIDI, I hate you. Whatevs. I’m making headway on the one I wanted most so I’m happy. I was practicing singing friday I’m in love a bunch of dif ways and listening to which one sounded the best. It was interesting to me that the way that felt the best as I sang it was the one that sounded the worst. The one that sounded the most bland sounded the best. o.O When I’m just singing the way that ocmes naturally my voice has the weird issue of too much natural resonance and vibrato. That obviously doesn’t lend itself to singing pop songs at all but it sounds okay if I force myself to sing straight and without frills. I’ll probably post friday I’m in love soon, I think I just need to make a few more passes at it. Tomorrow.  

I’m still doing well emotion-wise. I was angry that one day, but the next I was fine again, which is what matters. Some days I’m touchy too, but I’m getting better at controlling it. I don’t think I was previously aware of myself. I’m very emotionally dumb. I’m feeling human though, like I at least fit in somewhat with humankind. Sometimes I really want to go back to being the emotionless. Hmm. 

A big part of me wants to just private these entries because I feel like an enormous tool for writing about what I’m feeling about myself and my attempts at controlling my feelings. Most children learn to understand their emotions by high school. I feel so dumb for not really being aware of what bugs me and instead just getting annoyed outwardly. Like how do you not notice that? Eh. Whatever. In five years I’ll be good and no one will have to know that I was once this foolish. 

Anywho. Moods been good, life’s been okay. This song is a pretty good idea of where I am today: