Blog #557(Picture Spam)

Today has been pretty mundane. I came home yesterday and passed subway by despite having a huge craving for it. I wanted to spend the money I had on me on a full gas tank instead of needing to go to the bank to pick up more cash for it. So I distracted myself by thinking about how good it would taste if I had a nice sub right now. It worked and by the time I was done with my imaginary food ecstasy I was well past the restaurant. Great success. I think it had ingrained the idea of subs in my head though because when I woke up I had a huge craving for it. I live at least half an hour from a subway, so it’s not really a reasonable thing to just go out for. So I did the next best thing; I grabbed my flour and made french bread. I wasn’t as hungry as I thought I was when I woke up I discovered so I just waited til it was done rising, beat it up, let it rise again and really I came out with a pretty nice tasting bread. I dressed it in a cornmeal spread on top and it was at least somewhat like the hearty italian bread subway has. I was pleased. The subs it made were good too. So good that I’m going to go make another soon. ^__^

I’ve been doing pretty well at eating less. No melting pounds so far though. Or if I have, I haven’t noticed it. It’s been hard to remember to exercise every day because I’ve been pretty busy. 

I chatted with Mike yesterday. I think it was possibly his doing that I was made assistant incident commander at that training exercise earlier. He was telling me about how I’ve progressed from a complete noob to a competant EMT and how he thought that I was now starting to take a leadership role. Like…wat? I’m totally not. I was not and I totally DON’T want it, lol. I just try to be helpful to others who need help if they want it, you know? That’s not being a leader. That’s just being a good dude. And sometimes I don’t like doing that either because it causes weird situations. 

For example, I was helping out Mike-the-student (not paramedic mike I mentioned earlier) with his trauma assessment and I was being the patient while he worked on me with David. And David I’ve really recently found out is gay. And so Mike was doing his deal, messing up and getting all stressed about it because he wasn’t completely sure of himself. Kinda typical of noob EMTs I’ve noticed. Whatevs. So he had David holding C-spine on me which is essentially a precaution against spinal damage, it’s holding the head in-line with the chest as it normally is in case there was spinal cord damage. If there is and they move their head, it can sever the cord, so you have someone hold their head still in position, okay? So david has his hands on the sides of my head holding my spine in place. And he starts rubbing my hair very gently and not too obviously but it’s my head and I’m totally aware of it. And then he booped my nose like 4 or 5 times as mike kept screwing around w/ his assessment and drawing it out pretty long. It was kinda wtf. I didn’t say anything though because I didn’t mind it that much. I’m hoping I’m not going to have to check him, but I will if he tries to pursue it any further. He probably won’t because he’s not on my squad and I don’t have much contact with him, but still.

I was pretty evil though. The scenario that mike (eventually) uncovered was that I had been cleaning out the gutters and fell on cement and I had a stick in my back between my ribs. So he eventually noticed that and rolled me and realized they couldn’t backboard me and that they would have to lift me that way and keep me stabilized on my side. So they did that, the guys at head and feet both did what they were supposed to and supported my bits, but Mike in the middle was supposed to grab me and lift by my hips. You lift from the firm bone structure instead of the soft tissue of the stomach to avoid damage and also to not hurt your patient. Welllll, Mike didn’t bother to find out where my hips were. He just guessed. And was a bit too high and me being a good patient, I didn’t tell him shit until after he fucked up. Which meant he had gripped my skin and pinched me something good. And when he was talking to the person overseeing the assessment I talked to the other three and bitched about it. They asked what he did and I told them and then said "You’re not supposed to grip the soft bits, you’re only supposed to hold onto onto the hard bits," while looking at David and it embarrassed him. Because I’m a dick like that. I really shouldn’t tease him. I couldnae help it though, it was too easy. In the end I didn’t ever tell Mike that he was being too rough throughout most of the assessment and that that could really kill any rapport you might have with a patient so you gotta be gentle. As soon as they start seeing you as an asshole and/or someone who is hurting them, you’re done, the whole damn ride is going to be a pain in the ass and your job gets 100 million times more difficult to do. But he had messed up a lot of the basics of the thing and telling him that nuance wouldn’t have helped him any. It’s more important to remember how to do the assessment correctly rather than being gentler. He’s not at the stage of being able to fine-tune what he’s doing. So…I just said nothing. 

 

 

Eh. He’ll learn. Or get fired. 
 

My chief has been bugging me to do the AEMT course. I’m thinking I might take him up on it. I was tossing around the idea of jumping on paramedic school but mehhhh, I don’t know if I want to do that. Maybe I’ll just jump to AEMT instead and then go back to school for something else that actually pays well. The problem w/ paramedic is that it takes so much effort to get through and then it doesn’t pay well compared to other things floating around. I could get into a diagnostic sonography course for two years and come out making 60k/year. That’s not too bad at all. As an AEMT I would be way more hire-able too. Everything from phlebotomist at a hospital to blood donor type stuff with the red cross. Not to mention actual EMS work which is always there for AEMTs and up. 

So I don’t know what I’m going to be doing. Something. Probably sonography. 

I’ve been meeting random new people lately. I might have a date set up with another girl. Could be interesting. Could be horrible too, I’m not sure about this one. Or the other one for that matter, Syla isn’t replying to my texts. Granted I’ve only sent her two, one the day after and once today, but I’m not doing more than that. I’m mildly disappointed that it seems that she’s avoiding me instead of just telling me she was looking for something different. Not majorly though, I still had a fine time and at this point i am the only thing that matters as far as the Syla-Jon relationship goes. So I’m still happy with it. ^___^ Doubly so because I’ve had two very attractive women, and some others besides, slide me some messages on PoF. That means a lot to me because I know that so much of that site is visual. People judge you first on what you look like before even considering whether or not to read the profile. So it’s like…I don’t know. I feel at least mildly attractive for once bec

ause of that (and to some extent the thing w/ David). I always wanted to be noticed and desired but it wasn’t being fulfilled by the people I wanted to be noticed by. Now that I’m focusing on my attempt to move on past Kate I’m seeing just how big a hole that had left inside me. I wonder how much of my actions it influenced? Probably a few. I wonder how much it bothered me? A lot. 

 

Then add in the fact that I’ve never really felt attractive physically no matter what anyone said and bleh. But really, I can’t think that can I? Too many people have said that I’m cute. Too many random people who have no reason to stroke me. And then on this dating site, you’re in it for yourself, you’re trying to find a damn date, lol. So of course you’re going to go for people you find physically attractive and not a pity date because you want what you WANT. For a girl to reach out and message a guy says a lot more than it would if it was for a guy to message a girl. So I can’t just keep thinking of myself as ugly because I’m not. That’s just an idea that I’ve held onto for a long time and now it’s time to kick that particular idea away. Which is nice. I wonder what I should revise it to? So far I’ve settled upon "slightly cute, but not the sort of guy you have want-to-bone thoughts about just upon visual." That seems fair. Squee, I’m not ugly to (many of) the wimmins. Squee squee squee. Pic for reference: 

 I really ought to take another picture of me. Having that as my only really decent picture is kinda lame. Even if it is a good pic, it’s lame and I need variety. I don’t know how to take good selfies though so….hrm. Maybe I’ll take a night and study it and then take a few. Or you women-folk who are trained in that kinda thing could just tell me what to do. 😛

I just need to make sure David doesn’t see it so he tries to contact me. Because I just know that when I tell him I’m straight he’s going to drop a bomb like "so is spaghetti until things start to get hot." 

And now for the promised picture spam:

THE FATTEST OF PACKS.