Blog #76

I discovered something amazing today. I was in the shower today in an effort to wake myself up (it did). I was sitting there letting the water drip down and then it happened. BOOM! I heard it and it was like a gunshot. At first I jumped and was like, what the hell was that? And then I realized. And then I thought, Awesome! It was obvious; it was a fart of doom. When sitting against a hard surface with water to amplify the sound, your farts of doom not only smell like doom, but they SOUND like it too.

My mind immediately looked at the possibilities with this new point of view, with the amazing new possibilities for life. It seemed obvious; the gunshot-fart-of-doom had applications with women. Especially with those who claim they don’t poot. All you need to do is trick one into sitting in the shower and chilling and then BOOM, there’s the gunshot and there’s all the evidence you’ll ever need that even the good ladies DO unleash the fumes of death (with deadly sounding at that). Beware, ‘sensible and good’ ladies of the world. We men are on to you. We know your tricks, it’s only a matter of time before we catch one of your gunshots. WE KNOW!

Indeed we do. I bet Jacinta would be a prime test subject. We all know she’s one of those prissy ‘I don’t do that! that’s gross!’ kind of ladies. But we all know she isn’t. We all know that she’s up to something, she’s hiding something! WE KNOW!