good news and half bad news

 hey!I think I don’t have a phonephobia any more.for people who don’t know I wasn’t capable of pick up a phone or make a call except if it was extremely extremely urgence and I don’t have a choice and even if I did it I end up so amberessing.I guess the whole issue that I always think of what others in the other side of the phone think of me so I get stressed however I still don’t know how to use a public phone because I’ve never tryed it and I don’t have the courage to do it.In the main time I’ll enjoy my accomplishement even that I’m not sure if I’m tottaly cured of this phobia.I have to say it’s just happend I didn’t planned for it.it just happend.

Now.yesterday I went to maths tuturing and of course I was so nervous that I wasn’t capable of moving until my ass littearly was num.what scared me more was the teacher.he was making hose though and sick joks and cursing sometimes.he was even calling a student a dog and laughing at him and who ever know me knows that I hate that because I’m too sensitive and if he ever said to me something like that I would probably blash and my face turn up to a tomato littearly than I’ll get so emberessed which I don’t want to happend.plus that’s the main reason I left physics tutoring because I don’t feel comfortable which lead to not undrstanding and no focusing because I pay mora attention to the teacher than the lesson,and now here I am with no maths neither physics extra lessons and that’s not good espicially that I have this huge test in the end of semester that include natural science,maths,physics,english and phylosophy.

I was looking for some classes online but I coulden’t find any good ones in arabic they’re all in english.so until then I’m stuck.

I mean I really hate physics and it make me feel like I’m such an idiot but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to understand it I mean I have to because I have no choice or I will fail and that would be a complete disaster.

I feel more happier those couple days I have to say.I feel more energic and more capable of accomplishing my duties.I guess that’s more than enough to be gratful any way.isn’t?I guess it was really good to write about what I feel in my previous entry.it was kind of reliving.it was good espicially that I found some difficulties writing something all last week on my copy book that I reached a point I tough I’m kind of loser in writing but I don’t think that any more since I start writing here again.I’m actually considering asking dad to buy me my own computer so I’ll be online all the time and chek my emails and OD.I don’t know if he has anough money espicially this year because we spend a lot of money on extra hours.