Scared to DEATH

First lets start off by saying that Braylon is officially 6 months! OMG….my little booger is getting so big.  He has his appointment for his six month shots on today. 

Now on to my fear…..I have yet to start my damn period.  I have had sex 1 time unprotected since Braylon was born.  That was a 1 time slip up, and he didn’t even cum.  It was about 7 days into this cycle.  I tested on Sunday, and it was negative, but I AM NEVER LATE! WTF?  I can’t even get happy nor do I want to be happy about another child right now.  I have too much on my plate.  I go to school full time, work full time and take care of my son.  I would seriously consider all my options…..and that sounds terrible.  I am hoping that writting in here will trigger my body to expel and send Aunt Flo her monthly notice.  God I hope so…..I really, really hope so.  I get cramps and get excited and run to the bathroom, but nothing….not even a tinge of PINKNESS……give me something….anything.  I would even take the blood soaked khakis that i wear to work……all I want is blood.  It’s amazing how much you can change in a little over a year.  I remember how I used to pray that I would not come on my period…..and now I pray that I have the monthly curse.  PLEASE PRAY THAT I AM NOT PREGNANT….at least not right now.  When I have my next child I want to be married, with a college degree.