HOWDY!

Well hello ladies.  From what i have been reading everything is going okay….I got a couple of favs that just want the labor to come on!  I am praying and pushing labor vibes your way ladies.  Well onto me….I have to start doing weekly doctor visits as well as weekly ultrasounds because at my BPP (bio physical profile ) to examine the blood flow to the baby everything with him was okay, but the umbilical cord artery was abnormal….it was supposed to be 2. something and mine was 3.7.  So now i get to see my little man every week.  And he is so my son, he got my full lips and nose!  I can’t wait for these 10 weeks to end….everyone seems to think that I will go earlier, but I will probably go overdue, just like my mom did with me!! 

Also my grandfather is ………… i can’t explain it.  He tells us that he feels okay and he is getting better, but when we talked to the nurse last night she told us that he has been saying that he is going to die and he’s not going to make it.  I woke up this morrning to find my parents room left in a mess, them gone and I can’t get a hold of them.  My nerves are shot to hell.  I hope that he is okay, but if he has that feeling that he might die, he may pass away.  He is so tired and suffering, I don’t want that for him.  i have cried so much this week because I didn’t think he was going to make it this long, but he continues to surprise me everyday.  GOD is good and I have been putting everything ( and I mean everything) in his hands!!  I know that no matter the outcome everything is going to be okay!  I am just worried about my grandfather’s side of the family, who me and my father don’t talk to often.  Well let me give you some history behind this….My grandfather cheated on his wife with my grandmother and my daddy was conceived (nice, eh?).  My grandddaddy did NOT claim my daddy until his daughter from his marriage passed away when I was 2 (my dad was 23!) He had always done lil things like hand me downs and a pair of shoes every year or 2 years when my dad was yonger, but they never had a realationship.  Even when my "Aunt" passed away in 1987, my grandfather and daddy still did not have a relationship…just an acknowledgment.  My grandaddy then became obsessed with me.  Buying me whatever I touched, sort of making up for the past with my dad.  I mean I enjoyed the stuff, but the only time I saw him was every summer, and we only stayed an hour and a half from him.  I was in his town all the time, since my dad’s mom stayed there as well.  His wife didn’t like me or my dad, which was understandable, but she never talked to us… and we weren’t really welcomed in the house by her until she got alzhiemers.  Then she didn’t know who we were so she hugged us and kissed us…..and I was like o.k. this is wierd, because for 11 of the 15 years i knew her she really didn’t acknowledge me.  Except for when it was their 50th wedding anniversary and they put me in the nuewspaper with them as their grandaughter and left my dad out, so for a while people thought I was my auntie’s child.  That hurt my dad.  Well in 2002 his wife passed away, and everyone was giving my dad and I the cold shoulder, which I didn’t give a fuck about.  So my grandfather didn’t have no one left to care for him, people tried, but they were using him for his money, because he has all this money everywhere, nd soon they just stopped  helping all together.  My dad called my grandaddy Mr. Dumas until the day of his wife’s funeral that day he called him dad (At that time my dad was 40!) So here it is now 4 years later and the only people he has to rely on are the ones he wouldn’t/ hadn’t acknowledged and was ashamed of for a while.  They always say it comes back to bite you in the ass!  And it pains my granfather knowing that that is how things happened, he apologizes everyday!  We love him alot…and he knows that, but "his family" are threatened by me and my dad because we get everything!!!  They get nothing.  My grandfather has been in the hospital for two weeks, and they have not came to see him once.  Yet we are at the hospital everyday and they call us and try to get smart and say smart ass shit to my daddy and he is almost to his breaking point….my parents won’t let me get on the phone, because someone will be hurt…..and they really won’t like us then, but honestly I DON’T GIVE A FUCK!!

Well let me go so I can get dressed and make sure everything is okay at the hospital!