Courage

… i have to tell you something. i’m not sure what part of me you know and i’m not sure what part of you i know. i will ask you to stay as far away from me as you can. please! maybe it’s not because of what you did or the way you acted. i’m mostly the reason. please don’t ask me for the reason. i want to say to you: if you only you just knew how weak i am… don’t ask! … it will only make me weaker… and weaker to tell you. please don’t ask me! please!

why did you asked me? it will finish me… the truth… i will tell you…

i will think and try to guess and ask myself why… and i will hurt you with my words. i will hurt you because i’m weak… weak… because i’m blind… because i’m afraid and i can’t stand it… the darkness… i don’t see anything in you…  i can just guess if you’re a monster or an angel inside. i don’t know why you act like this. i wanted to help you. you think i can’t. is it even true that you’re in pain? you don’t need me. it may be because of the way i acted. you don’t have the right to see me like this… you’re not my friend… maybe you ask to see me because you don’t want to hurt me. it hurts alot more when you do so go away! get out of my life! i wish you the best! i really do!

i hope you’re not happy about me, but i hope you are happy! maybe someday i will be to. maybe i am.