heading for the rocks

im falling down and i will fall soon. i will hit the ground. i have no time and strenght to save myself. im the only one to blame. i will try, however. today i will speak later on with a person. afterwords i’ll be in pain. he, i thought, was a friend. i will be crushed as with every of our conversations. in about 6 hours i will return here writing my feelings and thoughts. i’m scared. that’s every time when i speak to that person. i’m scared of myself. i don’t want him to see through me. usually no one does but i’m scared this time. tomorrow we will see each other, but not for long. i don’t want to feel this way! i wish there was someone here with me in this moment. it will go much better but it seems there are things you must do alone. here it goes again… i have to go now. i hope my expectations will be just an mind-generated illusion as all the best things in my life.