the underworld, reality.

We truly don’t know who we are. I’m writing here mostly to tell everyone that I’ll stop with the unneeded vulgarity in my writing but I will not stop with what is in my heart. I’m hurt and it is for life. For years I’ve been trying to escape that place that takes part in my destiny. My life is great but here is the boarder of my fictitious happyness. If you knew me you would of guessed I don’t suffer from anything. Here and only here I can be true to myself and to someone. The future… It seems so unclear to me and yet so full of feelings. Everyday I see people, I meet people. All of them are untrue in their expressions and in their communication. We hide even from ourselves, trying to be someone we’re not. Trying to be the hybrid of the best we see in others. The best of what? Coldhearted, hardcored, killers, exempt from the pain. We slightly succeed in our deception. Everybody has fantasies right? Think about yours and really feel it inside of you! Isn’t that a kind of deception? They are your goal. How meny of them are violent? They make you feel stronger don’t they? And how meny are for a better world without killing and without pain, for the better of everyone. And I ask you "what wil it take to compromise for you to make it a slightly better world?" People come up and say "i’m not the only one that’s doing wrong". Well that’s wrong isn’t it? Why do we eat meat? Ask yourself that. Is it because our bodyies require it? No! Is it because it helps our health? No! Then why? Is it because you like it? Maybe yes. Now immagine that the flesh you’re eating was once alive like you and me. An innocent animal was killed. It is an unprovoked murder. Isn’t it? How meny people think about it as the way it is? Is that what you call food? You want to know what’s really wise? Don’t ask yourself. Ask the really wise men. Albert Einstein for example. Open a search engine and search "einstein vegetarian". Am I angry about it? Sometimes but not now. I’m just thinking… If we can accept an unprovoked murder to take place and we not only accept but we take part in it. We take part in alot of other things. We heart people around us without any reason and we know we’re not right. I’ve done it and I’m still doing it! You’ve done it! It makes you feel better right? We’re weak my friend. We don’t know anything about ourselves. Everything we have is given to us. Most of the things we accept take some part of our life therefore we don’t have alot of choices. That’s why we’re not interested in some things. We don’t have a view point and we don’t want it. You don’t have to feel right. If "feeling right" means that you don’t have to feel pain. You do! The door that locks the pain in our sould locks the love and the real happiness. Love is a pain. You not only love people in the opposite sex. You can love everything. The world around you and you can be hurt when you see destruction in every of it’s colors. Love dosn’t take the best of you. It can make the best of you. Don’t try to hate the things or the people you love. That’s what they are. Try to love them little more every day! Express it! Help others! Help the weak! Help build the better world for everyone!

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April 16, 2006

thank you my friend. i hope it does.