School is back

When you start school every ear there are these new hopes for a better future, for a better people. I look at the years behind and I don’t see a reason to believe that this year’s gonna be different. At least it’s for my last year. I’ve been through 3 years with the same people from my class and now there’s only 1 more left. I’m gonna deal with it somehow. I just hope I don’t mess things up more than they are already. To see people react in a social invironment , especially kids with lots of pre-assumptions about what life is and what people really are, isn’t a good place to be. I think I can survive but I really need a person that can understand me. I have doubts about myself surviving in the outside world without my parents. I hope I can make it out. I have to start studying at a university but I’m not sure if they’ll have me. I have a bad luck. I feel sick thinking about it. Today I saw a person from my past. It was so refreshing. The day just got alot better after that, although it was probably one of the best days in the summer. Without people you are doomed. You can stop some of their influence on you but you can’t stop all of it. That’s what all people need to understand. I was telling today to a friend of mine that. Also I continued talking to him about a nice girl. She is a Satanist. At least she claims to be one. I dunno. I think she just wants to be different from the others. That’s why she does that. There’s no need for that. Sins are commited for 3 reasons. 1st one is the need to be different, 2nd is the need to be accepted in the society and 3rd is to feel the need to commit something. The 3rd category of people have to repress these feelings. All these 3 cathegories are influencing me and that’s when I begin to think about all the things I could do if I wasn’t such a manipulative asshole and that makes me feel unstable. Sometimes I think I’m not made for this world.