depression

well here we go today i have so many different feelings i want to make sure everyone else in my house is happy and i feel like i am hurting people that i care about and i just get so depressed thinking i am hurting someone else and their feelings and that is so the last thing i want to do……..but as usual i always seem to hurt someone else when that is the last thing i wish to do……it seems like that doesnt matter to me how i feel anymore sometimes i just want to close myself off into a little room and not talk to anyone………and to make matters worse one of my oldest friends passed away and today r her services and because of the weather here i cant be there to say goodbye…i feel like such a crappy friend right now…so i will say my goodbyes here goodbye penny and i hope u are finally pain free hun and i hope u can rest in peace……