crushingly me

Today I was standing 5 meters away from my crush talking with a friend as we waited for the lift to arrive, we were standing talking for a good few minutes, i was being goofy because i knew how close i was to her and was desperate to run over and through all of my attention her way, but i held back.  The second we got in the lift and the doors closed lori goes to me … my god amy she could not keep her eyes off you, she kept looking at you listening to what you were saying and just grining from ear to ear.

My heart is still to recover.

I had turned off all feelings towards her … but now they are back in full swing.

Could there be an interest on her part? Or is she just really friendly?  Why is it at times she is so sweet and talkative, and other times just compleatly dismisses me.

A huge part of me wants to know the answer to the questions i desperately want to ask her … but then if the answers are not what i want to hear then i will loose these feelings .. and as much as they are driving me crazy and insane and forever making me whinge on here like a high school girl … at least i feel alive.

Its been so long since i felt alive.