conversations

She says: so you say you are happier with your job, you are happy saving money, you are happy with your plans to travel … maybe a special someone could make you happier

Me: aint no "special someone" (insert holding back of laughter of certain term) ever made me ‘happier"

She says: You were in love once …

Me: Yeah i was in love … do i look happier?

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He says: So tell me about this thing your doing

Me: what thing?

He says: this thing with the gym and not drinking alcohol and not eating fatty food

Me: what about it?

He says: why didnt you tell me that your not doing it anymore?

Me: because thats just it … im not doing it, you talk about things one does in their life … not what their not doing

….. (i know he was reaching out to me trying to have a personal conversation, but he hasnt realised yet that conversations can be deeply personal without having to only talk about personal things)

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she says: hey did you see they are advertising the horse riding down the peninsular

me: save a horse .. ride me

she says: its not a bad price, think i will see if kate wants to go

me: im free .. thats not a bad price to pay

she says: theres always a price to pay … you just havent realised it yet

(can you say ouch!  but then again … the ouch may be deserved)

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she says: thats them smeshimee seed snacks

me: smeshimees huh

she says: shit … sesamee smeed snacks

me: smeed snacks huh

she says: yeah .. some of them

me: sesamee seed snacks

she says: yes .. sesamee seed smacks

(needless to say we were late back from lunch due to uncontrollable laughter that required us to sit down for a period of time and just giggle)

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She says: why do you have to have a smartass answer for everything

me: i dont have one for everything … just anything you happen to say

she says: see there you go again

me: ok ok no more smart ass answers … i promise

she says: good

me: just dumbass ones from now on

she says: amy!!! (rather annoyingly)

me: what do you want me to say? how about you give me a list of possible answers that you want to hear and i will comply

she says: thats not what i want.  why cant you say something and let me in without masking it in some smartass disguise.

me: who says its a disguise? im smart and all ass baby

she says: i give up

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2 conversations i wish i could have with 2 different people … but so far have failed

to you ….. im not jealous … not even remotely … ok thats a lie, i am, but not for the reason you think, but because i want to be your friend … to be in your life … to be someone of importance to you.

to her ….. stop trying to mould me to be who you want me to be, your life isnt so perfect for yourself so why do you think it will be perfect for me, the more you push the more i try to pull away and develop into someone strong and happy with themselves, so thankyou, in a round about way your desire to try and make me to be the person you want me to be, i have turned into the person that i dreamt of being

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