frozen cold

So I meant to write a lot more in the last entry, but as I was writing it my cousin came home from her exam and wanted to go see the new shrek movie, so I didn’t need asking twice, and what was going to be a huge long update turned into a small bable.  But shrek 3 was great, I so love donkey.

So since its nearly at the next weekend, to sum up my last weekend in a nutshell, it was great, tiring, but great.  I spoke to someone very special, I had my beautiful niece for a few days who just lights up my world, went out for a few drinks with my cousin and her friend, and I did lots of shopping.

And this weekend? Well .. im actually hoping to have a whole day just to myself, not go anywhere, do anything, just kinda bum around, watch dvds in front of the heater all day long.  I feel like I need a day to rejuvenate, I feel so drained, emotionally and physically, and when I feel this way its easy to let in old self doubts, and I feel them pushing at the gate trying to get back in and set up camp.

It is just so cold here today, I am sitting at my desk at work in my winter coat, as in an outside woollen huge winter coat, and I am still cold.  Its nuts! Im all sniffly and cold.  I wish I hadn’t of left my nice warm bed this morning.  Then I wouldn’t be all cold and sniffly.

Im trying to write about anything other than what I really want to write about, but everytime I try to write about it I just end up staring at the screen blankly for seems like hours.  I think I just don’t want to start anything … but then its already started, maybe im just waiting for more before I lunge in, but then, what more could there be? Things once so easily felt and said are now so foreign, and I don’t know why that is.  I don’t want to talk in cryptics but then I cant unpuzzle it for myself let alone for you.

I think the cold is freezing my brain, if only it could temporarily freeze my heart.