tiredness
im so tired … i feel like the wind has been sucked out of me and in its place is a tonne of cement. If only i could close my eyes and be sleeping beauty and sleep till im kissed awake by a hansom prince … er .. well .. somthing like that.
Ive only just noticed how old my picture is on the side … it has to be about 18 months old … i didnt realise how much i had changed .. but looking at that … i have.
ive been using that word a lot lately … change … i didnt realise how significant it was, or rather, how important it was for me to recognise it … not anyone else .. but me. i feel like my fate has been placed in my hands and its now all up to me on what happens next, only trouble is … i dont know what it is exactly that im holding, i know it feels great, that for the first time in a few years i feel like i am on the right direction, but where exactly that is … well, your guess is as good as mine. I guess im more conused at myself, at how i can feel so happy and focused, when i dont know what it is im happy about or where about it is that im heading towards.
Maybe i have finally placed all the edges to my puzzle, and now its time to sort out the picture in the middle.
i read your note on julie’s entry..what do you not get about halloween? i’m your girl! ask me! :-p or not…*shakes head* i’m such a dork
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ryn: well, it used to be some people waaaaaaaay back..i think it was the celts? rather hated this time of year because it was the end of harvest and they knew there would be no other food around…they also believed that a particular day at the end of harvest was where the dividing line between the spirit world and earth world was very thin, and they believed spirits had a way of influencing cropsand life and all that. so they would welcome this, except they knew some spirits were up to no good, so in order to distract them, they would leave food and other goodies at the front gates of their community (how this separated the good spirits from the prankster spirits, i’ll never know). the druids used to sacrifice animals and predict the future from their insides, if i’m not mistaken, and this last day of harvest was the best time (that’s where all the bible thumpers probably get the “halloween is for the devil worshipping animal eaters” from. when christianity came to play, all the christians wanted the pagans to follow their way, so they adopted all saints day, which hit the same time as their celebrations and rituals. to top that off, they also came up with all souls day, whic
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which included remembering and honoring not only christian souls, but everyone’s souls they were really desperate..i think it’s funny. now days not many kids know about the origins of halloween. to them it’s just get free candy. but in most celebrations, it’s about celebrating life AND death, and paying honor and giving thanks to the mother earth that has nurtured you yet another year *nods* that’s why i say it’s a good time for getting in touch with nature again *smile* i kinda did an abridged version of things so…whatever else, let me know..kinda sad to see this holiday go…what do we have to look forward to now? ahh, yes, the celebration of slaughter and rape towards thousands of indians…thanksgiving rock on *smirk* i’m not bitter at all
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