blue day

To learn to have faith in another may not always be as simple as it should, but generally with time one will get there, sometimes easily… other times it can be a bit of a trial. so it has me wondering, how do you learn to have faith in yourself?
having another really blue day today, and what my biggest struggle is that my head tells me one thing and my heart tells me another, as in, why do i feel sad when i know that i should be happy, that there is every reason to be happy and the logical part of my psyche can win that argument hands down, but then comes along the emotional side of me and logic is blown away. I dont understand how i can expect and think the best of people, of my friends and family but then when it is turned to me i think the worst where i am concerned with them. so that leads me to how do you learn to have faith in yourself. cas told me today that i am far too hard on myself and i need to start having more faith in myself, that i need to feel inside how others see me, that i am so open and so giving to those around me that i need to stop and start giving a little back to myself…. i dont know.
maybe im finally allowing myself to admit that i am a little lonely and that i do want someone in my life … its taken me sometime to allow myself to think that way.