Break Up

Gina and I “broke up” last night.

For those of you who suddenly feel impossibly far out of the loop, no, we weren’t dating.

She called me on Saturday and told me that she didn’t think it would be appropriate for us to spend time alone together anymore because she was seeing someone. We talked a little then, but I didn’t quite get it all out, so I went to her house again last night. We walked around her neighborhood with her dog and talked for a couple hours.

We didn’t say much about the new situation. Instead, we discussed God and life, like normal. We prayed together. I knew, and I think she knew, that it was a very signficant discussion, it being perhaps our last.

We did finally get around to it. I broke down and I said, “This is it.”

“We can still hang out in groups,” she replied hopefully.

“Sure, but you do understand what I’m talking about?”

Quietly: “Yes.”

We beat around the bush a while longer, but finally we hugged one another tightly for many seconds, and I blew snot on her shoulder. I don’t care what the stereotypes say. All the women I’ve been friends with have been tougher than me. I cry at the drop of a hat.

“Thanks for being my friend,” she said.

“You’re welcome.” And then I got in my car and drove home.

I could go into gushy details, but instead I’ll just say two unremarkable things about our friendship. We enjoyed one another’s company, and I think that in spite of all the romantic garbage that occasionally muddied the waters, we kept one another’s heads screwed on straight.

I’ve made it through break-ups and failed friendships before, but they were all caused or attended by apathy or animosity. I’ve never had to tell someone goodbye who I love, someone with whom I could continue to have a vital, ongoing friendship were it not “inappropriate.”

Before last night, it was like a sucking chest wound. (I’m using my imagination. I’ve never had a sucking chest wound.) It still hurts pretty doggone bad, but I’m optimistic that things are going to be ok. Just the same, I’d appreciate any kind words and especially your prayer. I’m sure I’m still due for a few more cycles of despondency.