Alot O’ Crap

It’s been about a month or so since I’ve written…it doesn’t seem like that long, but here goes nothin’…

Well let me just start from the beginning of it all…my car as you know got repo’d and that sucked, turns out that you can’t really get it back after that unless you have a BUTT TON O’MONEY, which we don’t. So it’s gone forever and has already been auctioned off, which means that whatever they don’t make from the sale there you owe the bank.  Which sucks, but is better than the total amount since we don’t have the car now.  So we make payment arrangements on the amount owed and that’s that.  Sucky thing to have on the credit report, but it’s too late now.

Chris is doing really well as his new job and he likes it alot.  He’s getting great compliments on his work and I’m proud of him for that.  I think it’s going to work out with this company, mostly because I think it’s a pretty laid back environment and that’s good for him because he’s a bit high-strung.  Their going to pay for his school next semester so that’s a load off the wallet.

Moving along.  Let’s talk about my job, things are going well, I was informed about 2 weeks ago that I’m now in charge of the desk and things getting done.  As well as my co-worker doing them.  It’s a bit strange being in charge of someone twice as old as I am and that started on the same day as I did.  I feel like I’m telling my mother what to do in some respect because of her age and all.  Then again she’s kind of a sucky worker at times, letting her personal life run the show and workflow of her day.  I try to push her along and tell her that just standing around isn’t really a great impression on our boss, but she just seems to be off in las la land sometimes.  We had a talk last week and she seems to be doing alot better for now.  Let’s hope that it continues.  I’ve been but in charge of getting a new computer system up and running on all the computers and somehow I got in the loop of training and set up times to train everyone as well.  It’s odd to have someone put their faith in you and expect things to get done.  Good, but odd.  So on Monday I set up the program on the computers and now the training part comes into play so I hope that goes well.

We got the other car from Chris’s friend about 2 weeks ago and was super excited that I had something to drive.  Everything was going well until about Friday.  Then the timing belt broke.  Oh what fun.  What is life without car trouble?  So we’ve had the car in the shop since then and I’m back to bumming rides yay!

don’t need the shit.

I think I’m most disappointed in her. My mother.  My entire life I feel like I’ve been let down by her.  Where my father is concerned, where my grandfather is concerned.  I feel like my sister and I just became targets and she was ok with that because it meant she could take a break from being one for awhile.  She never said anything to my gpa when he put us down or made fun of us.  When he hit us.  Not a word.  I suppose Saturday just brought all that back seeing as she was sitting at the table and saw it all happen.  She just sat there, staring as if she had her jaws wired shut.  It makes me really sad to feel this way about her.  I love her I really do.  But I just don’t feel like she was there for my sister or I at all.  She allowed so much to happen to us and never said a word.  I fear I will resent her forever.  I suppose I’ll always feel like a kid sometimes who just wanted their mom to stand up for them, if not everytime, just once.