crapola…

Today wasn’t a entirely bad day…I tried not to think about what could go wrong and just laugh.  It worked for the most part sometimes I would sit and stare off into nothing and think about crap that sucked, but for the most part I kept myself busy enough not to have time for the bad…

I worked with Co-worker today and Boss had the day off which is always nice.  Everything just seems to go more smooth when she’s not there anyway.  She’s VERY anal and wants everything done her way or not at all…bitch…hmmm perhaps I harbor some anger towards her???  lol

I can’t get over my other co worker getting fired.  I’ve tried to call her since but she always says that she’s either on the other line or she doesn’t answer at all.  I tried to e-mail her and still no response.  So I asked a student if they had talked to her and they said that she thought everyone staff wise knew about her getting fired before it happened and she was pissed off.  Well I didn’t know until an hour after it happened that shows you how in the "loop" I am.  I don’t want her to be mad at me and I want to continue our friendship, but it’s all up to her now. 

Good news, no bad mail today…that’s a first and probably last.  It’s always nice to come home to nothing in the mail box.  Not even a bill.  *ahhhhhh*…….I’m sorry for being such a downer yesterday I just couldn’t snap myself out of it.  I do believe I may need some anxiety medication of some sort so that I don’t worry myself sick….maybe I should make a doctor appointment sometime next week and get that taken care of.  I’m sure I’d feel much better.  Or maybe just everything in my life is finally catching up to me and I need to go see a psych…ahh to be one of the millions of crazies in the world…I guess that would just make me ordinary.

Chris really pissed me off last night…I was on the computer writing and all that and said that I would be to bed shortly…(he had hinted that he wanted some sex earlier)…well I didn’t get off of the computer until about an hour and a half later, he was asleep so I figured I didn’t really have to worry about the sex that night…went took a shower, had a cig, brushed my teeth and climbed into bed…unfortunately that woke him up….it’s not that I don’t love making love with him, it’s just I didn’t really feel in the mood last night…I was REALLY down as you all read…he kept pushing the issue…so I tried the I’m falling asleep method that didn’t work…rolling over method that didn’t work either…he was getting pissed off at me and rolled over and said he was tired of having sex with me anyway so fuck it…*sigh*…I didn’t mean to upset him or anything…I just wasn’t in the mood…but after that he rolled back over about 15 minuntes later and I gave in…I can honestly say that it was the first time that I just wanted to get it over with…I felt really bad about that…I just wanted him to hurry up so I could go to sleep…..I suck….

Anyway…I’m off to go over to my sister’s now…so later~megs