Life As A House

Life As A House…

Jess and I went to see that movie saturday night…she didnt want to and I did…I had only seen 2 previews for it and I couldn’t have told you what it was about, but I wanted to see it just the same…So kicking and screaming I dragged her ass to this movie at 10:05 in Carmel…

It had Kevin Kline in it and a bunch of other people that I probably should know their names, but I don’t…anyway…it had to be one of the best movies I have ever seen, Jess agreed after she finally stopped crying…*smiles*…I think I cried for an hour of the movie, it was awful…awfully good too…

It made me think of my dad…he’s dying, and I could forgive him, but I choose not to…maybe I’m the one being selfish…besides what could it hurt to just forgive him? other than me…*sigh*…I guess no matter how much I hate him, there’s still that little girl part of me that always wanted her “daddy” to love her…If I were perfect then he would, but I’m not so I’m sure he doesn’t…but I think I’ve moved past the “I need him to love me” phase and onto the “If he doesn’t love me that’s his loss” phase…I’ve wasted so much of my life worrying about someone who doesn’t even care about me…not anymore…I can forgive him for what he did, I’ll never forget, but forgiveness is possible…I need it to be, because all I’m doing is hurting myself by holding in all this anger and resentment…just let it go…*deep breath**exhale*…and there…

Life isn’t always easy…it isn’t always hard…life doesn’t always change because you want it to, and it never stays the same no matter how hard you try to make it…life is racing by us at lightening speed, but we’re to busy making other plans to notice…life is pointless and tedious at times…life is joyful and bliss at others…life it seems is in constant motion, and that’s the only thing that ever stays the same in it…they say live life to the fullest…I say, just live life.