Me

Looking at the presentation from Dr. Dario, the two aspects (Ti: Use brain regions that promote complex/subtle logical reasoning) (Ni: Rely on low specialization with a holistic zen state to do novel tasks) that give me a state of flow or engagement.
I’m not really sure that I can use these things in this world. So little logic is required to be successful and so many people are so easily led by trite banal, pursuits. I get chills the fill my body, that I may never feel the sense of happiness for very long, because the specialty that I can offer can so narrowly be used, it feels like a rarity for a reason – it’s not in high demand. It’s so hard for me to change for the market, so then I think of personal relationships…

I remember the happiest time I get is while talking, although I’ve only been in a relationship with one other person that had a main love language of physical touch and they were pretty much insane. Since my love tank hasn’t really been filled that much as of late (Physical touch -i’ve never really ‘felt’ sated), more relevant a few months ago then lately, but still relevant as an ongoing problem (which might multiply in intensity as a problem at any given moment, noting the sources of such love acceptance my stop) I’ve really had to focus in appreciating quality time. I realize now how awkward that was for me when I felt someone was really paying attention to me, it use to be incredibly intimidating, I’m not sure why… Now, I can handle it soo much better, I can appreciate it it as an effort of caring rather than a hostage situation where I felt that I had to be an entertaining host (WOW, that’s my goddamn MOM).

Another thing that I really do need to come to grips with is that when I get stressed I tend to not listen, it’s not that I don’t try to listen it’s that I am burning so much energy trying to focus on an answer I can’t focus on my listening capacity.

I love giving people tools but I don’t like just giving and giving, I sometimes feel that I give so much that I give until it hurts and it only hurts when I’m empty. Part of the imbalance of my psyche methinks.
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Are people scared to admit that life is a journey? Do they need to be diluted into thinking that someone has a plan? I guess that’s answered by the popularity of religion? I’m not sure.

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How we shape our voices to ourselves affects our very consciousness, it is well known that we perceive a reality that is colored by the hues of our emotions. If we have unhealthy, disparaging or self deprecating communication most of the time (with ourselves) how could we hope to engender helpful & healthy connections/relationships when our reality is at odds with that creation? Whether they are personal, professional, intimate, platonic, they all lead back to the root cause of the source of our delusions – our minds.
The bigger the neural network of negative communication in our brain the faster we can access that information and habituate its use & belief.

I don’t think this world needs more Judgers or Extroverts, I think this world needs more people that are deeply reflective and caring, regardless of type. I see a nation of people that are so focused on getting something done they forget about how important the process is, how important knowing who you are and what you want is. Knowing how important it is to not lose yourself in the drudgery of this consumerist, populist infused society is the epitome of maturity.

That’s what we need more of.