No Longer

Well for now, no longer engaged…  My girl has decided that although she claims she is in love with me and knows that she wants me to be her husband someday, right now is her time to get closer to God and for the time being I am getting in the way of that and I need not take this break-up as something personal but something good for the both of us so that we may better ourselves as Christians and become closer to God so that when we are ready we can get back together and be a happier couple under God. 

Now I see her point, but because she is so far misled by a church of the Pentecost faith, I don’t entirely agree with her decision at all and yes I love her and I know that if you love something you must set it free and if they truly love you and it’s God’s will, eventually they will come back to you, my fear is that this may take too much time and she will move on and I lose her forever.  I do not know what to do or how to handle this.  She wants to be friends and that is going to be the hardest thing in the world for me to do. 

Part of me wonders if she is lying to me about getting back together someday so that I’ll be more willing to be her friend for now so that in time she may think that I may move on as she may have already and by then we can stay friends rather than lose me altogether…

Part of me wonders if she is just using this entire excuse for other purposes, like maybe she has found someone else, or she wants to explore her options, boyfriend wise anyways…  I don’t know what to think and all I can do is pray hard about what to do and pray for patience and pray for strength and guidance.

Either way, I love you lauren and I know I always will, so I just need to have faith in God that He may bring you back to me in due time.