Update On Ex

Ok, not only has she been with this new guy but she practically has been with him almost as soon as we broke up which says a lot to me, and their already engaged!  This is rediculous beyond words, but there is nothing I can do about it, I’m not even sure I would really want to do anything about it, it is what it is and it is prolly the way it’s supposed to be, she was never right for me anyways, I just wish I wasn’t feeling so damned jealous about something I feel I shouldn’t care about at all.  But I guess it is terribly hard to get over someone that u actually were in love with, especially when they were ur first real love. 

It’s sad really that I unfortunatly had to fall in love with the wrong person.  She was completely wrong for me and I knew this half way into the relationship but I continued to stay the course and even got engaged to her, I was insane.  I will miss her more then I can bare, at least for a while, I’m sure eventually I won’t feel as strongly as I do right now and I’ll be able to finally move on myself as she has already.  I am happy for her, I really am, I just, part of me for some reason just wishes she was still with me, because I do still love her, deep down I know I do, I just don’t want to…  It’s a very agaonizing feeling to have to watch the person u love get married to someone else knowing that u had ur chance but u blew it…  But at the same time I feel like I did the right thing, hell none of my friends and none of my family liked the girl, it was never going to work, but I grew attached and letting go is very difficult I have noticed. 

Well all I can say now is just wish me luck and hope that I can move on quickly because I hate feeling like this…