My love story

Now I saved the best for last, the thing I didn’t tell you yet that happened to me in the last few years, which is: I met my soulmate. He has always been in my group of friends from the age of 12. We saw eachother frequently (at festivals, birthday party’s, we both sang at some sort of talent show at school…) but were never that close. In my first year of college I still went out a lot with my high school friends, and he casually joined our New Year’s Eve party that year. He and some of my friends formed a little grunge band together, and the last couple of times that I went watching him I already thought: “Wow, he’s a really good singer and a pretty handsome guy.”. At New Year’s Eve I felt attracted to him for the first time. A lot of times we were on our own, laughing and making jokes, being pretty close. I was at that moment very drunk and outgoing, and I invited him on my sleeping mattress (the party was at a mutual friends’ house). He got in and we just fell asleep spooning, without anything happening. The day after I woke up embarrassed, thinking he probably just wanted a one night stand and felt cock-blocked and didn’t feel anything for me at all, while I still felt a thing for him. In my shyness (the opposite of what I’d been the evening before), I went home and we didn’t talk for like two months. I went on studying and focussing on college (not taking care of myself), finding out he had a girlfriend in a foreign country. She came to Belgium and they met eachother on Valentine’s Day. At the time I found out I was not heartbroken (there was just one night of us being close, nothing happened) but I did feel jealous. I thought: “Would he have gotten over me that fast after NYE?”. While things went bad with his long distance relationship we started talking again 3 months after NYE (his relationship really didn’t last long, she wanted ‘a break’ pretty soon), going out together a couple of times but still both being too shy to do anything. I really fell for his sense of humor, his charisma and his sincerity as a human being. We talked all the time, for months, and my feelings grew stronger every time we went out together. I made it my goal to show him how I really feel and hoping he’d feel the same, because we did talk often, but he never showed if he even had feelings at all. After my finals in June I wanted to go out in my college city, so I invited him over. He brought his best friend and they’d both sleep over. At that time we were pretty close, after months of talking, and when we were going out, dancing, there was a moment that we ALMOST kissed if his best friend didn’t get into a drunk fight right at the same time. That still didn’t stop me though. When we got back to my dorm, his friend was so drunk he passed out on my bed (I secretly made him lie there so I could lie next to my bf on the couch). We were drinking wine, talking and I was SO tired waiting for him to kiss me that I was already falling asleep (it was already early morning when we got back). The way he tried to keep me awake, because he also wanted something to happen but was too afraid, was so cute (snapping his fingers and laughing to keep me awake). Suddenly we started holding hands on the couch, looking into eachothers eyes and at that moment I decided I’d kiss him and it was the best decision I ever made. He kissed me back, telling me this was everything he’d hoped for since NYE and feeling overwhelmed. I felt overwhelmed because I didn’t have a proper relationship anymore since I was 16 (at this time I was 18, almost turning 19). This was the start of a beautiful, loving relationship. This guy is truly my soulmate. I believe a person can have multiple soulmates, but he is certainly one of them and the most important one in my life right now.

He immediately broke up with his girlfriend (they were already ‘on a break’ for months bc his girlfriend wanted more freedom) and we started our relationship together. Even though at first we decided to keep it a secret for a couple of days/weeks, he told his best friends the night after and soon everyone else in the group found out. I didn’t really mind, he didn’t do it on purpose he was just really excited haha. Up to this day we still tell eachother how we never expected to end up with eachother. In high school my dad was one of his teachers lol. But if we think about it, we’re really alike and match well. He is Thai (so he has that handsome exotic look lol) and Slovenian/Serbian from origin and I’m Italian/Slovenian from origin. He speaks the language (a mix of Serbian/Slovenian…) with his mother and grandparents and I like that we partially have the same origin and that I can even learn to speak my Fatherlands language thanks to him. He is passionate about music and is one of the best singers I’ve ever met, he’s like an Eddie Vedder 2.0. I have also always been passionate about music and singing, and we have the same taste in music as well, so a lot of times we sing really loudly in the car, or watch Youtube videos together…  We’ve never done a cover together though, I think because we’re both afraid it will become more of a competition than a fun thing, but that day will come! Aside from that, one of the most important things to me, is that we have the same sense of humor. He is always able to brighten up my day. He makes me laugh at any given hour. When we first started our relationship he wasn’t that much of a talker, a deep conversation kind of person. That was the thing we struggled with a lot in the beginning (and also my trust issues because of my dad who cheated on my mom). I’m someone who has a rich inner world, I’m a thinker and someone who needs to have someone to talk to. But he felt those needs and grew to be the person that listens when I have to talk (I also think at our ‘young’ age it’s normal to still be a little ‘immature’, certainly being a boy I do believe there’s some difference between men and women coming of age). So aside from the fact that we’re alike, he’s also quite the opposite of me. He keeps me from overthinking and worrying too much, and I make him think things through just a little bit more. So we can be comfortable and ourselves around eachother, but the relationships stays exciting because at the same time we’re not alike at all. I can keep on writing about him for years if I want to. I never thought I’d meet someone that compatible, or someone who I’d have a stronger connection with than my first boyfriend. He is the most patient, loving, ambitious, passionate, rational, funny, kind, forgiving, caring, respectful, loyal… person I’ve ever met. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him. I wish I could describe just how wonderful he is.. But I’m not even close lol. We’re 1.5 year together now and I already have come to terms with most of his ‘flaws’ and he’s met mine as well. We both accept eachother the way we are, realizing we’re not perfect but we feel we’re perfect for eachother. We’ve had some ugly fights and discussions, about me not fully trusting him in the beginning (since I’ve had the coaching I can now fully trust him and I can make the difference between just paranoid thoughts and my gut feeling righteously telling me something’s up). Our secret is communication and honesty. We agreed to never go to bed without solving a fight, we talk for hours if we must, sometimes we leave eachother alone just a bit to cool off and then we come running back in eachothers arms. It took me a long time for being the control freak I am (”Everything must be perfect, I have to have control etc”), but I also accept not knowing everything there is to know about eachother. We can have our dirty little secrets, but that is why they’re called ‘little’. You’ll know when you’re hiding important things that could break down the relationship and we agreed to never do that. We are already talking about our future, about how we still want to travel the world and get married and have children later on. And I am so grateful for having him in my life, but don’t mistake this as him being the only source of my happiness. Partially through coaching I now fully understand I must be happy with my own life and myself first. And luckily I am, he just makes it so much more exciting. What is life without love (and I mean any kind of love)?