Chaos and run, girls just wanna have fun

My day at Antwerp was softly expressed dynamic. And so were the trip away and the trip back. Instead of telling what time I got up and what I ate for breakfast I immediately want to skip to the shops. The first and the BEST shop for me we entered was the Urban Outfitters. Just way too lovely, but way too expensive even WITH sales. That didn’t stop me from buying things though. I really wish I could’ve bought everything in that store because really, I was in love with 99%. It really is a bummer that the shop is only available in Brussels and Antwerp. But for Urban Outfitters, I will keep on traveling there! A lot of people say that Urban Outfitters is a hipster shop, but my definition of hipster is someone who only wears what’s in right now. I buy stuff because I like it, not because someone else does. The thing is just that sometimes I see people wearing something that happens to be popular and I love it too and I don’t know if that makes me a hipster, but I just like to wear things I feel good in. I had a long talk with one of my friends today about how our taste in clothes always changes everyday. Sometimes I like to wear black a lot and be more of a casual sloppy type but other days, like today, I had enough of black and I bought almost everything in a kind of indie, alternative style. I also like to dress up chique sometimes, but to be honest I really think alternative and indie is going to be my final taste in clothes. It’s what fits me best, to me it’s like the perfect balance between flashy and black, and I just love the kind of eastern prints and special prints and unique clothing, that’s why I want to learn to make my own clothes. It’s a big advantage because nothing ever fits me perfectly in a normal store, either it’s too long, or too big. I am always too small and I hate to feel like a baby in a grown up world:( anyway I was glad I had this conversation with my friend, I always thought I was the only one feeling like that, I always feel like I am a freak and everyone else is normal and happy but everybody is normal until you get to know them. I just hope that one day I will find who I really am and figure the most important things out. Though the chaos and confusion of your teenage years has its charms, everything does and after a year or 2 I would like to slowly reach the end of that. I long for some stability from time to time. And I watched another episode of the carrie diaries, it remembered me that sometimes in order to gain confidence, you have to act like you do before it truly comes. And to finish the entry I would like to share with you some of my daily awkwardness, with today starring: Lara (me), Charlotte, Sarina and Evelyne/Evelien in flemish. We were desperately searching for the American Apparel and after too much wasted time we found the little store in an alley. We got in, I looked around, found some pretty things coming to the conclusion they were too big (ofcourse) after trying it on. But apparently the woman in the store was constantly watching us and she didn’t trust us. Maaaaaaaybe because me and Evelyne tried on clothes in one cabin. But honestly, it really wasn’t a big deal I only had clothes in the cabin, not even some jewelry that you could take out of the shop much easier. Then they asked us to show our bags and everything and the woman was angry and inside I got angry as well she kept on talking english and she thought we didn’t understand and I told her "We don’t have anything I’ll show you all of my bags and jackets" and when she found nothing, she didn’t even apologize she just kept staring us to death until we finally walked out of the shop. I still am so angry, it’s unbelievable. Why on earth would I steal anything? The woman didn’t even have a reason and she wasn’t friendly AT ALL. She said to her collegue: "I mean, they could have anything under their clothes". She still didn’t believe us. It bugged me so hard I really wish I’d said more to her, that I had stood up more for myself and my friends but I was just kind of speechless. Well, on the train coming home there were some nice people as well, chatting with us during their travel. So Charlotte said, "What have we learned today? There are nice people and there are also mean people." Brilliant observation!!!

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Your anonymous guy finds you again – impressed at your resolve to keep writing here more often. Urban Outfitters… I guess it makes sense that they have stores only in the biggest cities, with a name like that. (there are 4 of them near to me). Very sad about your experience when shopping American Apparel. I have to admit that your bare question of “Why on earth would I steal anything

… isn’t a very fair offering to assure somebody that you aren’t stealing (wouldn’t everybody SAY that?). These days, when it is totally wrong and taboo to seem to judge someone based on RACE, or whether they somehow LOOK like they might want to steal something… the store operators have to have general SET criteria they can still use to intensify their patrol…

AND MAYBE… two shoppers going into one “cabin” for changing, IS one of their set criteria. Also, in order to justify taking an extra-strong LOOK at those who really look like thieves, you have to look fairly hard at truly random people who wouldn’t harm a soul, once in a while, so that you CAN make it seem like your extra scrutiny really IS “RANDOM”.

I have worked in retail, and it can be soooooooooooo tricky, to know (by INSTINCT ALONE) when you should pay extra attention to what somebody is up to. Because it is wrong to, for example, go on the assumption that all tall people are criminals (or whatEVER). So you just do your best, with what help and instincts you have. I hope this helps you to feel a little better.

January 12, 2014

Have fun!!