La Vita è Bella

 So far for my previous entry, I’ve decided to carry on with that when I’m back from Italy. I made it private but the entry just comes down to that I want to stop being selfish and help people more. And I mostly mean selfishness in my thoughts: it would be good for me AND for others if I would just stop thinking about me all the time, and I mean over-analyzing. Always thinking about what people would say about me, what I can change so that people would like me better, or that I would like myself better. Thinking about if I am even possible to love, that maybe I’ll never find someone, that maybe I’ll end up with no friends, and have a shitty life with nothing but boredom. That feeling, fear, is something I need to overcome. I need to find out for once and always that I have this all in my own hands, I control it. Or most of it. So there is nothing to worry about. If I end up having a shitty life, it will probably be because I made it like that myself. But with some healthy sense I am almost sure that is not going to happen. Instead of that I should spend my thoughts to things worth thinking about and things I love and that I really stand for and that I am interested in. LIKE helping people, like music, poetry, politics, the environment, art, fashion,.. I know what I want and there is nothing further to overthink about. I have done enough of that and it only complicates things. Right now is time for having fun, for laughing and creating unforgettable memories. Not for struggling and fighting and arguing and being at war with myself and the people around me anymore. I just want to go on this vacation, have the time of my life, have this sincere feeling that everything will be okay, come back and feel at peace. I can’t wait to see Italy 🙂