Protecting myself from getting hurt

I think today is going to be nice. I slept out nicely after my series of finals. First piano class, next, i’m going to my sister to shop and eat sushi and have a sleepover and watch a movie, and I’m just going to have fun and I hope I will think as less as I can about my boyfriend because I’m really building up a life without him again. I feel like I’m protecting myself because I’m taking more and more distance, I let him be (so he’ll hopefully miss me) but that if he won’t, I wouldn’t be devastated. That I could still function without him. It’s a good thing we’re having vacation right now, it’s the ultimate test to see if he misses me, and if our relationship will still have any chance. I am just trying to protect myself and have a life beside him. SO he knows that I won’t die if he’d leave me because sometimes I think he thinks that way about me. I actually want to let him chase a little bit after me because I mostly give in too easily. Anyway, enough about him. I’m off for a me-day!