unto the brink

Whew. What an intense week. We are no longer at the Holliday Inn. I’m also no longer in the woods. Last week spent Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday in Portland – then left Friday, Saturday, Sunday for camping.

Shel is pretty much living-ish with us for the summer and maybe more depending on how things go. Currently she’s going between a few places but if things go like we want in finding a real house house then it will be more semi permanent. It’s all a little up in the air currently. I’m glad to have her. Even though I think that I’m doing a bad job showing it today.

Today has been just been frustrating for me. I’m not sure really why. It’s an Evanescence day – and absolutely know one knows the signifigance of that…. but trust me when I tell you it’s not a good thing. And incredibley rare. I think maybe I’m tired and stressed a little and have been short of patience today and that’s been a contributing factor. I don’t even know. I’m usually a freakishly perky individual but today I’m just like "hey everyone – go die." 

There’s been a lot a lot of positive things happening lately and they outweigh the negatives, but somehow today has just been difficult for me.

Negative1: I really don’t want to start classes next week. It’s unavoidable. Blah.
Negative 2: Mike and Rebecca’s baby died. Rebecca was almost seven weeks along in the pregnancy. It’s a huge shock because they are like the most careful people ever and the last check up went really well. There’s no explanation for it – the doctors are not sure why it happened. Sometimes that just happens I guess. It’s so sad though. So sad. I’m really not a good tragedy person because I’m terrible at showing emotion about these kind of things so I just like stand there and probably look like a complete jerk because I’m the one not visibly upset. I don’t know why. I was though – upset. People that know me know me could tell. I’m not really a person very excited about babies, you know? I’ve never actually held one and no one asks me to babysit because I don’t really seem like the babysitting type. But Rebecca was soooooo excited about Annie and she made me make a deal with her that if I’d babysit Annie, then someday she’d babysit my kids and they would have play dates and stuff, and even though I’m so awkward around that kind of talk I was secretly really excited. She was going to be my niece and that’s so cool. I remember telling Rich a few weeks ago that I was amazed at how much love I could feel for someone I hadn’t actually met yet.
Negative 3: Because of the new changes in everything going on we have to find a new place to live. This is a positive too, but the search and the moving process is exhausting.
Negative 4: Rich leaves to basic September 21st. FOR SIX MONTHS.
Negative 5: I think in moving forward I feel left behind. Not even sure how this works but yeah. aka the park. I am angsty today. Reckless and stubborn today.

Positive 1: I drove the church van for the first time. Pulling the trailer. On the freeway. NO ONE DIED! YEY!
Positive 2: I had the best time camping I’ve ever had. For sure. It was awesome. I love the woods and biking and rivers and volleyball and campfires. Excellent.
Positive 3: The secret is out. Rich is officially enlisted in the United States National Guard. He’s so excited. It was a difficult and long-ish decision for us to come to. He really seems pumped. He scored quite well on the ASVAB (93) and got the job he wanted and it’s entirely a God thing how it wall worked out. More info as we know more info.
Positive 4: I might get to get a Charlie if the house we get into allows them. 🙂 I’m excited.
Positive 5: Ben and Shelby are not fighting (for now.)
Positive 6: Raylu gets to stay over tonight.
Positive 7: I still have brocolli left. I [heart] brocolli.
Positive 8: I can’t think of a number 8 but I’m sure there is one.
Positive 9: July 4th is coming up! Yey!
Positive 10: I feel like I’ve had lots and lots of vacations lately with all the hotel stays and what not.
Positive 11: My legs are sore from lots of activity. It’s a good sore. Like a "been doing fun stuff" sore.

Will attempt to update more regularly.
xoxo