I suck

at reading people.  I need things spelled out for me.  I don’t catch a lot of social cues, or it takes me a long time to catch on.  It sucks.

Right now I am suffering through the reailty of really liking someone, despite attempts not to, and not being able to tell for the life of me if he has genuine feelings for me or if he is playing me.  Or neither, he may be so annoyed with me by now that he just doesn’t want to bother.

I hate being in limbo.  I like knowing- one way or the other.  At least when something is staring you right in the face you can do something about it, but there’s not much you can do about something that may not even exist… idk… if I am even making sense right now.

Part of me wants answers.  Part of me says eff him either way for being yet another person who refuses to trust me to live my life in a way that works for me and makes me successful.  I find a way to make things work- it is what I do.  I see what I want in life and I *make it happen* and I do so in my own, sometimes not so easy, sometimes backwards way.  But it works for me.  It is one thing to have a suggestion for an easier way to go about thing.  It is another entirely to act like it is the end of the world if I choose to do things however I choose to do them especially when it just doesn’t affect this person.

I am weak though.  I put up with too much, for too long, in hopes that it won’t turn out to be as much crap as it seems it will.

Boo for that.

Bedtime.

~Katy