06/11/10

I finally went on a "date" with James this past weekend. WIll I ever get a normal date? You know, one where the guy takes you out for dinner, talks to you like a normal person, and can say goodnight without jumping on me like a sex crazed maniac? *sigh* James seems nice enough, but I think his intentions were different than mine.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m horny as hell.  It’s just that I’m looking for a relationship, not another booty call. I don’t want to be a booty call anymore. I want someone to love, and have a family with. I initially asked James if he wanted to do breakfast…..he said yes at first, but changed his mind when  picked him up.  I him a ride back to his house after he dropped off his truck to get worked on, and he pretty much asked me right away what it’s like to kiss with my piercing, and sure enough he went for a kiss. It wasn’t a bad kiss.  It was actually a pretty nice kiss, but I was hoping he would stop with a kiss. Instead he took my hand and brought me to his bedroom. So we made out and groped each other a bit……then I told him I couldn’t go any further.  Honestly, I probably would have if I felt better about myself. He didn’t really know how to make me feel sexy anyways. And the whole time we were kissing i was thinking: "Well, so much for this guy." I remember when I first met Andrew. If only I could have a first date like that again. That was truly amazing. We connected on such a deep level.  We talked for hours. Stayed up all night, and eventually he kissed me, but didn’t push anything. He layed his head on my lap and we talked while I ran my fingers through his hair. It was like he really wanted to get to know ME. I haven’t yet met another guy like him…..well, besides Eric ofcourse. I’m so lucky and unlucky at the same time. It’s been too long since I’ve been held by him, or since we made love really.  The foreplay hasnt existed with us for a while. It’s usually him just coming up to give it to me. It’s fun I guess, but not what I really enjoy.