So… What Do You Do?
I hate this question at the moment. I don’t want to lie, but I don’t want to straight out tell the truth, either. It’s one of those questions that people always ask within about 3 minutes of meeting you, and saying at that point, “I’m a prositute! And what do you do?” is a wee bit much.
It was fine with the people who were already in my life before I started sex work. They knew me and knew that most of the assumptions one jumps to when one hears “prostitute” don’t belong to me. But for people I’ve just met, I know that if I say that they automatically think, “drug addict, alcoholic, fucked-up childhood, no self-esteem, probably owned by a pimp…”
So what can a girl do? I can say, “I’m a prostitute. But I’m not a drug-addict or an alcoholic, my childhood wasn’t overly fucked-up, I have plenty of self-esteem and I’m not owned by a pimp…”
I tried once, with a girl I’d just met but knew I’d be wanting to see more of, to say that I was a receptionist in a massage parlour. A little white lie, to sound-out her attitudes towards the sex industry. And she was totally non-judgemental and totally curious, and asked all these questions about my work. And before I knew it, my little white lie had spun into this fucking huge lie and I couldn’t back-pedal enough to say, “actually, I’m not a receptionist, but I do work in a parlour, if you catch my drift…”
So, I want my dear readers’ input on this. If you were out at party of whatever, and you met someone new and asked the ol’ “so whaddaya do?” chestnut, and they responded, “oh, I’m a prostitute. And you?” What the hell would you do??
Cos ideally, you see, I would be just that open. But it’s one thing being open to friends I already have – it’s one of those friendship self-cleansing things, like coming out as gay. Those who didn’t like that I was a prostitute are the ones I didn’t really need in my life anyway. But new people who mightn’t even want to know me because of what they’ll assume about me… that’s a whole other thing.
Especially when it comes to attractive women!
Rambling. Can’t even clarify because the computer lab I’m in closes in 5 minutes! I do hope I’ve made some sense though.
“I work for my money.”
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and then change of topic to people who don’t work for thier money…. nice easy seguay into politics, followed, if need be, by a declaration that polite people don’t talk about THAT. There ya go.
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I think I would be fascinated and want to ask more questions (as I am/do with anyone who has a job different than what I’m used to, whether they work for a magazine, a non-profit organization, a rock band, etc), but I would think that would get annoying for you. I guess I would come out and say it, if asked (in appropriate situations–I wouldn’t say it to a girlfriend’s mother or whatever), but if the probing became too much, I’d be like, “It’s just a job, like anything else,” and hope that they drop it. It’s a tough one!
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