four years later

Four years later and I still feel like I’m in art class drawing next to you¯that smile of yours still shining brightly, your eyes still glowing. It was four years ago that we were completing our last year of high school, and it’s four years later that I graduated from college. Now I sit at my computer reliving the last four years that you have not lived with me. It’s hard to imagine it has been four years, but every anniversary since your death seems to catch up to me faster and faster. Well, at least you got to enjoy 18 years that moved slowly versus the years when you’re older that race by.

I have not cried about much in awhile. It’s strange because I typically am an emotional person, yet as I’ve aged I have seemed to become less emotional. I am fine with that. I am also fine with the fact that the tears streaming down my face right now are for you. They are your tears and every one of them belongs to you Rachel.
Life is going ok. I graduated from college, which I’m proud of. I have a real job, which may not have been the career I was dreaming about in college, but it will pay the bills. My focus on art has decreased to my dismay, but it seems other priorities have gotten in the way. Art will always be my reminder of you and as long as I can still appreciate and have the ability to excel in it, I can always think of you with ease.
I just got a message from Kate just now¯she said you are looking down at us today. Rachel, you will always be a part of me and you will always be my angel from above. I miss you so much…