an unchanging month

The last month or so has seemed to be unchanging for me. I have somehow crossed onto a path of regularity with only faint hints of excitement. These hints, though, are so insignificant to what I normally label as "exciting." An exciting month for me has its typical love triangle confusions, but stimulating ones nonetheless. It usually has more sex, well, good memorable and hot moments of it. And if I remember correctly the last time that happened was Thanksgiving…

With this cold month freezing me into immobility, I can only assume Christmas break will crack the frozen pond that has held me from running towards what ultimately makes me happy. Although, when I think about it, my definition of happiness is far different than most peoples. Perhaps this happiness will only create more interesting drama in my life; however, at least it will break this icy cycle I’m caught in.

It could be the quickly approaching conclusion to my life in college…

A not-so-started relationship that I’ve been approaching cautiously…or

The images of us together and the feeling that only grows as we grow further apart…

Whatever it is, I hope I can cross back to the path I’m used to, and start a new one towards a future where decisions may be more important, where girls won’t be so internally intrusive, and where insignificant issues won’t seem to matter.

I may have been seeing the same big picture all along and have been ignoring it because it was easy…now it’s not, and I can’t ignore it anymore. Solution? Ignore the picture I’ve already been ignoring until I can decide if this picture is the same for us both. Confusing, I know, but at least I can save money on therapy..ha.