three years later

I didn’t wake up last night. I slept a full night, got up when I was supposed to and started my day…this is my growth. That eternal alarm clock set in my head marking your death never went off today. This is proof that I have been able to accept you leaving my life and have grown up from that young, vulnerable, and scarred person I was three years ago. Age has helped me move on and has help me to accept that nothing is forever. Everything has an end, and in your case, an unexpected one…

Three years ago I crumbled to pieces at the thought of your death. It destroyed a significant part of me, while teaching me the precariousness of life. You have seen what I have gone through over the last 3 years, the good, the bad, the in between, and every other event and change that has ultimately changed my…self.

I start this new year, my last year of college, remembering my first year at the time of your death. So much has happened and now I stand at the forefront of the end of another chapter in my life. I soon head towards life away from school and away from my familys’ security and onto an independent personal voyage.

Rachel, you helped me be strong for the many obstacles and heartaches my life has and will run into, please continue to watch over me as I continue on the path you never were able to start. I miss you my angel…