3/19/08

Afternoon all.

Wow, that’s weird to be saying, I almost never write entries during the day.  But I got off work at 2, and I’m in a sombre mood, so what better time to write, right??  Getting up to be at work for 8 AM is never fun, but today seemed worse because I had an early shift yesterday too, and just couldn’t sleep well at all last night.  I tossed and turned and couldn’t settle, my mind was just racing.  Then I get to work and the first 3 hours just CRAWL by, cuz it was hardly busy at all.  About half an hour before my break though, Ellen told me to close off my cash and come over to the service desk because she was going to start showing me keyflicks and junk.  I was surprised, because after that meeting with Kathleen and Jasmine, no one had mentioned anything to me about when I would be starting, but I guess it was today!  And apparently I’ll be doing keyflicks (supervisor functions for other cashiers, basically) and breaks on the service desk, so not a full-fledged supervisor.  Helen was the one who actually told me first, before Ellen came over to speak to me, and she seemed annoyed that they had asked me and not her kinda thing.  She HAS worked there longer, but I mentioned in my interview when I first got hired that I was interested in being eventually trained for supervisor duties and stuff, and I guess they think I’m ready now.  Later on, it got really busy and I noticed we were short a cashier, and said to Angie "Hey, where’s Helen?  Did she go home or something?" and she was like "Yeah" and I said "That’s weird, I started before her…" and she said "Oh, you’ll hear about it"

So I can’t help thinking it has something to do with this whole keyflicks business.  So I felt kinda crappy about that, but it’s not my fault really.  She even said she wasn’t mad at me, so I dunno if something else happened, but like Angie said, I guess I’ll hear about it.

So yeah, that was weighing on my mind a bit when I got off work, and decided to give Grace a call.  She’s been asking me for days if I wanted to have dinner tonight, and I figured I should sort things out and see when she wanted to go.  I tried her cell first, no answer, then tried her house and got her.  I asked when she wanted to go and she was like "Oh, I guess you didn’t see the message on Facebook…" and I was like "No, I haven’t been home yet, why?" and she goes "Well I kind of don’t want to go for dinner tonight, it’s just I went out to eat so many times last week I kinda got sick of it and now I’m going to go to a movie and yeah.." and I was like "Uhh…okay…so I guess we’ll hang out some other time then?" and she’s like "Well you can come to the movie if you want!"  I wasn’t sure about that and said "It sort of sounds like you’re going with someone else, so maybe not?" and she said "Well Charles was going to come…" and I said "Okay, so some other time then."  And she’s like "No no, I want you to come too" and I said "Really?  Cuz this whole thing was your idea, and all of a sudden you want to go to the movies with Charles so, I dunno…whatever"  And she was kinda pleading with me a bit, and said it was Horton Hears a Who, which IS one that I want to see, it looks cute…and Jim Carrey’s in it, one of my all-time favourites.  So I told her to check what times it was playing and sort out when she wanted to go and all that, and give me a call, cuz I was heading home, and then we hung up.  I might’ve been a little short with her, but it had been a long day, and I was (am) so very tired, and she does this a lot.  I can only excuse it so many times when people keep blowing me off or changing plans at the last minute.  My parents asked me days ago if I wanted to go to dinner with them tonight, since my dad leaves on Saturday, and I said no because I thought I was going for dinner with Grace.

Rawr.  I dunno…I’m so tired, so so tired.  And tired of this place.  I want to be around my friends that love and support me again.  Everyone’s left this shit town one by one, and it seems like the time ’til I do too is forever away.  About the only thing keeping me going is this silly work crush.  That’s kind of pathetic, isn’t it?

~SS