Whaaaaaaaat the eff? No, seriously…

Allo chums!!

First off….some fitting(ish) lyrics:

Back To You
John Mayer

Back to you
It always comes around
Back to you
I tried to forget you
I tried to stay away
But it’s too late

Over you
I’m never over
Over you
There’s something about you
It’s just the way you move
The way you move me

Yeah, I’m so good at forgetting
And I quit every game I play
But forgive me, love
I can’t turn and walk away
This way

Back to you
It always comes around
Back to you
I walk with your shadow
I’m sleeping in my bed
With your silhouette

Yeah, should have smiled in that picture
If it’s the last that I’ll see of you
It’s the least that you
Could not do

Leave the light on
I’ll never give up on you
Leave the light on
For me too
For me too
For me too
Yeah

Back to me
I know that it comes
Back to me
Doesn’t it scare you?
Your will is not as strong as it used to be

Alright.  Now for the wtfness of the entry.

I was at Sarah’s tonight, and I actually…really had a nice time.  I’ve been hanging out with her a lot the past couple weeks, and it’s just so comfortable.  She gave me two magnets to take home and put on my fridge tonight; one said Social Butterfly and the other said Best Friends.  Cute.  She picked me up after suppertime and we went to my work to pick up my jacket (I’d left it behind after my 9-3 shift and not remembered ’til several hours later), and then on to our respective banks to cash our GST cheques which came yesterday (Tuesday) and for Sarah to pick up material for some bunnies she’s making for a friend of ours who’s having twins.  Eee!  Babies!  Anyway.  We were in the fabric store, and I remembered that Ash (the only out lesbian I know around here) had invited me to an event on Facebook; something in the title about wearing rainbows on October 12th, in order to commemorate the death of Matthew Shepard in1998, and also that I owned nothing rainbow-coloured.  So Sarah and I bought some embroidery floss together, and while we chilled at her place watching A Night at the Roxbury, she made us both bracelets.  I alternated between watching the movie and watching her work.  I would’ve helped, but she seemed so focused I didn’t want to interrupt.  She made the first bracelet for me, and initially made it too big and kept reducing the number of colour patterns to make it smaller…it’s still a little big, but heart went into it haha.  The second one she also made for me, and it’s a bit smaller and looks a little tighter, and the colour patterns are smaller.  The big one is on my left wrist and the smaller is on my right; left has a purple bead to hold it together and the right has a blue one.  I like them a lot!!  She made another one for herself, and is probably going to make more, no doubt.  But the first ones were for me, heh.

Her mom really seems to like me, it’s odd!  Every time I’ve been over in the last week or so, she asks if I want to go in the hot tub or if Sarah’s feeding me, and when I mentioned my mum leaving this Friday to go see my dad, she said I’d have to come over for dinner while she’s away.  Sarah drove me home just after midnight, and I think she must’ve picked me up around close to 8, so we had a pretty solid 4-hour hang out.  I’m exhausted though…I only got about 4 or 5 hours of sleep before work, and my alarm went off at 7:15 AM…urrrggghhh.  I’m not a morning person, but I’ve had to force myself to be lately.  It’s eventually going to tucker me out, but for now I’m at least not sick!  But yeah…back to the ride home.  I flipped open my phone as we were driving towards my street, to check the time, and couldn’t believe what I saw.  I literally yelled out "WHAAAAAAAAAT THE FUUUUUUUUCK……youhavetobekiddingme." and Sarah turned down the music and was like "What?!"  And I shut my phone and threw my hands up in the air.  "SAM!" I bellowed, "goddamn….Sam.  This is ridiculous…weeks without talking to me and then this??…like nothing’s happened…?", all the while shaking my head in disbelief.  There were 3 texts in rapid succession from her, sent around 9 PM:

1) the l word is premiering in the states on january 6th.
2) which means we can start downloading it on the 7th.
3) OMG LESS THAN THREE MONTHS!

Really?  Seriously?  You’re telling me about a TV show that, granted, I love…but c’mon!  I don’t deserve a "hey…what’s going on, how’s your new job, my love life sucks, etc. etc."?  Not an "I’m sorry for continuing to be cold even though I already apologized for much the same thing not two months ago"?

I give up.  I really do!  Remember how I said a chapter in my life was closed?  Well apparently she’s not content to shut the book yet.

Something mildly amusing though…Sarah got right defensive of me, and ended up telling me that she’d never liked Sam (having known her in childhood) and was hoping that I was over her, because she wasn’t worth it.  I told her that I was, and I’m pretty sure that I am.  The funny bit is that I had a very similar conversation with Sam back in May, about Sarah.  Two girls, I’m in the middle, both hate each other for what the other did to me plus anything else that may have happened before I arrived on the scene.  Absolutely insane.

~SS