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I drank five Smirnoff ice, three of those premade shots, one shot of Bailey’s, three of Pimm’s, one large cup of punch that had Malibu and god knows what else, one shot of Whiskey and a glass of Sprite with a double of Midori. I didn’t get a hangover, send any texts to my ex, remember the whole night and didn’t end up in hospital.

My friend, Amanda, is getting married and we celebrated her hens night exactly how I imagined it. Trashy and fun. All my other friends who are married had tea parties and sensible gatherings. Amanda is the life of the party and a highlight in my life. She is one of the only people who really know me.  Before I met her I didn’t have a voice and zero confidence. She came along and made me feel strong and less ashamed of all of the things I’ve done. Instead, I embrace everything.

She had a list of things she had to do. She received a lap dance and gave one.

She dared me to kiss a guy and I did. I then kissed him again.

I kissed Amanda too. I don’t think it was anything special. One between friends. I have never kissed a girl before. I imagine it all the time though.

I like kissing.

I like that I have more names on my list.

Kissing people is so easy when you’re drunk. Everyone goes out hoping something magical will happen but I make it happen. I made sure we were having fun, dancing with guys, doing the list.

I think there is a video of it on Facebook in a private event page. I could be embarrassed but I’m not. I did a thing and I was alive for a second.