2/1/07

Why do i always have have to fuck thing up .

Every single thing i do wrong fuckes up not only my life but tims.

I want to spend my whole life with him because he means the world to me and more but I want him to be with somone he deserves.

Somone who he can open up to end enjoy a perfect life with and grow old with and i want that to be me so much but im not good enoughg

 I dont have long hair

I dont listen to him all i do is go on and on about me

I dont give him sexual plesure

all because im fucked up and because i dont want to get hurt again.

Im trying to distance myself from the person i love the most because he deserves better and not me.

He is sat staring at me as i write this in an angary state we are arguing or should i am causing it and this is another reason y he would just leave and get somone better.

I kow he loves me but how can he when im this fucked up ?

Hes looking bored now better go face the music and stop hiding behind this lap top

Talk soon hopfully when happy xxxxx