5…4….3…….2….1

I need to wake up ,To grow up , its not fair on other people.

With sion for the past 3 days and its effected me on 2 diffrent levels. Its made me love him more yet its made me question whether its gonna last i mean can somthing this perfect last forever? I have also gone into hating myself more again, im not good enough for him and we all know this. he can go and get some good looking girl with an amazing personality that hasnt the emotional and psycological problems i have. But he wants me and it makes hate the way i am at the moment makes me strive for perfection. I hate anything sexual with him also as im not good enough, im not amazing at giving head or hand jobs or anything like that and so i feel evil reciving. I also have found myself not wanting to look in the mirror as the reflection hurts me. Its stupid i know but i need 2 change.
Im going away with the family for 10 days so wont b able to see him and im not looking forward to it can your become adicted to a person or is it just the attention and affection i crave???