dream,love,and fighting

So have you ever had a dream that is so horrifying that your screaming in your dream but you wake up screaming as well. Your sweating and shaking?!?! Well i woke up like that this morning. Now most ppl dont know this about me but a lot of the time when i have dreams they come true….at least Heather knows about this. I dont have dreams alot and if i do there never like this. I dont even remember most of it but i keep having this one image pop in my head. I cant even tell you what the image is cuz i dont want to start crying. The worst thing about it is that im afraid it might come true or parts of it at least.

So ive been worried about my mom lately. if youve been reading me for a while then you know that my mom has cancer. ive just had a feeling lately that shes not doing so well. so i called her yesterday and we talked for like 3 hrs. she broke another rib so shes been in some pain lately. but other then that shes doing pretty good. shes got to go back to Rochester,MN soon for more testing to see how shes doing.

Ive had a lot going on in my head lately. Ive really been trying to figure out something for Dan for V-day. Our relationship has been alot better lately. We actually act like we want to be with each other and that we actually love each other and were not just together cuz we said we would always be. I actually want to marry him again. For a while i didnt want to anymore…it was getting really bad. I love him very much and all i want to do is marry that man. Weve actually been talking about getting married soon. just going to the court house and getting married. yes i want a big wedding but ive realized alot this past year that i dont need that. and i especially dont need it since most of my family hates that im with him and dont want me to marry him. but i dont give a shit. hes who i want to be with. so instead of spending all that money, THAT I WOULD HAVE TO PAY FOR…im going to do it simple. and then have a party with all our friends after. cuz at least our friends think we are meant to be together. But again i still cant think of something really nice for him for V-day….

In other news, went to the concert on friday. It was ABSOLUTELY amazing! We were right up front to the stage. and when SLIPKNOT came out EVERYONE was pushing to be up front. This one guy pissed me off so much that i grabbed him on his chest and picked him up and threw him back. and then this bitch kept putting her elbow in my back and yes i know were in the pit so ppl are gonna do it but i mean it wasnt cuz someone was pushing her it was cuz she was pissed we werent moving over so she could get up front. so shes like fucking whore the fuck out of the way and just kept going on and on and on…and finally i turned around and punched the bitch in her face ONCE and she was out. dont fucking mess with me when i wanna see slipknot. lol