NoJoMo 6
i need to get over myself.
how do i always fall for people who are so far out of my league? i’ve been reading a lot on here about women being so aggrivated by the men they date because they are not emotionally available… when all i want is someone to share my emotions with that isn’t going to disappear at some point.
i don’t get it. i was talking with someone very dear to me on the phone today about this. we were talking about how it seems like the jerks are what make up the male population. however, i honestly think they are in the minority. i really feel that the majority of men are nice and good, but end up being too afraid to approach someone, or are hit down to many times to try any more. i’m quickly reaching the second of those two.
for the second time in my life i thought i had found a good thing, only to find out i was ignoring the warning signs again.
i’m looking for someone to hang out with. someone to share my life with, and who would hopefully share theirs with me! i’m not looking for sex or arm candy… i’m looking for a companion. i’m looking for a friend.
then, i find someone that genuinely cares about me, but because of past experiences (both far and recent) i’m so afraid to let anyone in now for fear that i’ll be once again set aside because i can’t be enough, or because something better comes along?
and here all i was trying to do was be a friend. isn’t that what a relationship is about? or am i wrong? am i only supposed to expect sex and think i only need to see you every couple days? is it bad i want to go shopping with you and hang out and watch silly movies together, or go walking, or anything else that strikes our fancy?
is it wrong that i think all this?
it must be. because it doesn’t seem to be working.
that, or i’m ugly.
– noah
p.s. i would love if some random noter actually told me the truth and said something along the lines of "well, no one is dating you cause you’re ugly-and-or-fat." i would love to know that it was because of something other than my ideas about relationships.
I’m a random noter, but all I have to say is that it’s painful to think that you think those qualities in a relationship are bad 🙁 But then maybe I’m wrong too? Nah that can’t be… I’m never wrong :p
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random noter for you being afraid of being pushed aside .. are you sure you’re not just pushing yourself aside? its easier to get hurt by others because you can never get away from yourself trying to live up to someone’s superficial standards might blind you to things that should actually be important. …
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if somebody rejects you because you’re too ‘ugly’ or ‘fat’ than you should thank them. thank them for not wasting your time because love isnt restrained by any kind of adjective. they are the one that isnt ‘good enough’ for you
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maybe it doesn’t work out because you spend *too* much time with her. and she needs some alone time herself. that, or she’s afraid you’ll turn into a stalker?
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Just my impression and I’m old so I’ve had some experience but you seem kind of needy. That can be a real turnoff. Maybe learn to be happy with yourself.
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that’s not the truth, that’s why no one says it. you’re a great guy and i’m sorry you keep finding the wrong person. all the qualities you want to bring to a relationship are real and what MOST women want. but things don’t work out for a reason i guess.
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i do think that maybe you should take some time to become happy with yourself. i don’t believe you are, noah. it’s alarming that you believe someone telling you you’re fat and ugly would be the truth. you will never be happy in a relationship until you are happy and confident in yourself. when you are at that point, you’ll find you don’t need to be with someone to be complete.
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that is one thing that women look for in a man. you have all the other things right. you’re emotionally sensitive and talented, kind and generous. but women also want to be with a man who is confident in himself. because women are “the weaker sex” even with all the feminism stuff in that women are self-sustaining, we STILL want to be with a guy who will protect us. that’s when confidence comes in.
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so anyway, without writing a billion more notes i think you need to just focus on yourself – not in a selfish, egotistical way, but until you learn to love yourself and learn to be okay with your faults and strengths both, you’re not ever going to be happy. with anyone.
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*hugs you*
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RYN: No problem. After reading your other notes, mine really pales in comparison. There are some good ones, heed their advice. =]
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*hugs* Don’t let your insecurities rule your mind luv. Just breathe. Let what comes come. The more you keep reaching for something, the farther away it will seem.
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Random noter: I think that you’re attractive. Since you only have a head shot up, I can’t say anything about the fatness, but you don’t look fat. However, I do think you need to be less insecure. Be confident that things will work out for you. Confidence and self-assuredness are attractive (as long as they don’t go too far, as in cocky). You’ll find someone, don’t get discouraged.
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