March 16, 2006

I wish you could too…

"this is so wonderful…" her hands gracefully signed to me as we walked in our new home. tapping her shoulder, she looked at me.

"you are so wonderful." i smiled and she blushed and looked down at the floor, rubbing an "n" on her chin (noah=cute). her pet name for me.

smiling i took her hand as my parents came out from the guest bedroom. "well, thats everything." My dad said, my mom roughly translating over his shoulder. sarah hugged my father and kissed his cheek. "thank you" she signed.

my mom and sarah hugged as my dad an i took out the last of the empty boxes. "do you need anything else?" my dad asked.

"na… i think we’ve got everything for now. i was thinking about going shopping later. haven’t quite stocked up all the food-stuffs yet." he nodded.

"well, mom and i need to get home. call us tomorrow and we’ll see about going to lunch." i smile and thanked him. he waves over me at sarah as her and my mom came outside. sarah links arms with me as my parents get in their car and drive away.

"finally" she signs. "the house all to ourselves!" i wink at her and she smacks my ass and runs in the house.

—

holding her close, i could hear her deep breaths, her face twitching slightly in her dream. i slowly got out of bed, noticing poignantly that it was 2:00am. i wish i could sleep once in awhile.

i walk into our music room, with my piano and bookshelves of scores and other music stuff. pulling a book from the shelf, Rigoletto, i open it and began working on another scene that i had yet to memorize. i ran the words over and over trying to set them in my mind, and also starting to sing more and more as my voice warmed up.

pretty soon i was standing and walking circles around the piano as i always did as i work to memorize the music. as i rounded the piano i noticed that sarah was standing at the door. she had a slightly forlorn look on her face.

"was i too loud?" i sign and wink to her. she laughs.

shaking her head, "no, it was cold." her hands, balled in fists shiver in front of her.

"i’m sorry honey." i go over to her an wrap my arms around her. "i just couldn’t sleep. i’ll be back to bed soon, just want to finish this phrase."

i let her go and boop her nose and she watched me walk back to the piano. i began to sing again and suddenly i felt her hands on my shoulders. then she pressed her face into my back, her ear buried between my shoulder blades.

i continue singing and i feel a tear hit my skin. i stopped singing, wanting to hold her, but her arm came around my chest, "don’t stop… please?"

i took her hand and kiss it gently, then began to sing again. she wrapped her arms around my shoulders and cried against me as i finished the aria. turning i hugged her close and kissed the top of her head.

looking up to me with her dark gray eyes she signed slowly, "i wish i could hear you," tears rolling down her cheeks.

"i wish you could too…"